Tag Archives: educate

February 21, 2013 · 9:59 pm

The Dust Will Not Settle…

My motto is, and will remain: Do not be reactive. Be proactive and educate.

Just to clarify a few things:
There is not and never will be a lawsuit regarding the recent outrage about pickles.
Am I after the almighty dollar? Yep. We do it the old fashioned way: working and having a birthday every year (thanks, Mom).
I am happily married to the father of my child- his name is Dave and he’s an amazing man.

I have many thoughts about the recent events that have transpired, but truthfully, you already know them, as I have been open and honest. I am thankful to have the opportunity to live in this country where I am afforded the right to speak freely and express concern. In this way, I was expressing concern about a word on a pickle jar… I am also in the midst of writing to other companies about products and speaking with local community centers about not having midget leagues, teams or squads. While years ago (read: 1800’s) “midget” was a medical term for a person of proportionate short stature, and then used and adapted to describe circus entertainment, it has evolved into a mean word, used in mockery and bullying. It is, in fact, not just mean or offensive, it is derogatory. While you may be not offended by it, others are, including myself on behalf of my daughter. I spoke up about it in compassion, offering my support to this company in any way that I could- including to educate- whether they made a change or not.

To everyone who thinks I wasted my time educating and being proactive about something that is very close to my heart, let’s speak to those who have chosen to not just voice an opinion, but to attack… like Gerry (I will not release his last name or email address). Gerry is a 62 year old retired grandfather of 2. He contacted me through this blog. According to his email to me, Gerry is “balding badly and sick to death of all of you politically correct, effete snobs who get offended at any little thing. Maybe I should try to have “bald faced lie” removed from the lexicon?! Or protest all of the “senior memory care” jokes out there?! What a bunch of BS you are.”

I’m not sure what senior memory care jokes are… but if they offend you, I encourage you to write a letter or call your local news station. Gerry informs me that, “I am contacting Gedney next and telling them they have lost me as a customer. I’ll bet you are very pleased with yourself.”

If I am wasting my time simply trying to educate about something that matters to me, what is Gerry doing as he hunts me down through an article, reaches my blog, sends me this scathing email, and then spends more time contacting a company to say he won’t buy their product?

The answer? Wasting his time on something he doesn’t care about, and seemingly doesn’t affect him. Please know that small dill pickles will still be available.

There has been an assault on me, something I do not care to stop, although it does not make me “pleased” with myself. On this blog, I will accept ALL comments about me- good, bad and indifferent. I will even try to respond to most, however I am being inundated by all media outlets- please be patient. I will not, on the other hand, accept negative or threatening comments about my child or husband. I have had to delete only one on this site, but several on YouTube, including thoughts hoping my child would be hit by a bus and that she’s an abomination.  Someone superimposed a picture of my Addie on a jar of pickles with the m-word. Was this meant to be funny? Nope. It was meant to hurt. This word is KNOWN to the public to hurt and demean and this person knew it.

A fellow blogger posted this: From Themomofalltrades

As for the folks who go with the old stand-by that the word “midget” isn’t always used to mean an offensive word for a little person, I ask you this: Did you know that the swastika was originally a symbol that meant life, good luck, sun, power, and strength? Do we still associate that symbol with such things? No. Now, the swastika is a symbol of hate, violence, anti-Semitism, murder and death. How would you feel to walk into a grocery store and see a jar of pickles emblazoned with a swastika? Even if you’re not of Jewish descent, you still probably wouldn’t feel as though that symbol was appropriate. If the company originated hundreds of years ago, when that symbol was still one of good intent, failure to change the symbol when times changed would be inexcusable to most.

While people post they “hate” me (a stranger they’ve never met), others have used my personal social media pages to type obscenities about me, my daughter and my husband, from behind the safety of their screens. There have been stories told to me about radio DJs taking sound bites of me out of context and mocking me to the delight of their callers. While you call a mother who meant to make the world a better place “stupid” and an “idiot” (among the most G-rated of many vitriolic comments), I think you are “mean”. That is your right and that is why I do not feel the need to patrol each site to the belittlement of myself, and fight back in comment. I have not hidden from people who wanted to know more. I did not seek media attention, but when offered, I chose to educate. What people have done with the knowledge is their decision. I have, thankfully, had a beautiful, albeit private, warm reception from hundreds of people. To the few who found me on Facebook just to be hateful, there were over 100 strangers with no previous connection to myself or dwarfism, offering their support and kind words to someone just trying to make the world a better place. While the blog has received hate, it has also been an outlet to people who have no opinion, but respect a mother’s prerogative, and others, who downright agree and want to know how to help. I will say this once: help by educating. Do not argue, threaten or blame. My message is one of peace- I simply want to make a change for the betterment of society. Companies, teams, and the like, once using this term simply as an adjective for size, need to be (in my mind) educated to its other definition. One of hate. One of bullying. Derogatory. What they choose to do with this education, is their choice. I celebrate your freedom of speech, and respect your opinion- whether I agree, or not.

In NO WAY do I believe myself to be akin to Rosa Parks, however- she wouldn’t give her seat up on a bus. I’m sure (beyond the fact that it was illegal at the time), her move was considered stupid and benign. But guess what? It changed the world. A chocolate and licorice candy called N*Babies went through a name adjustment to Chocolate Babies in the 1960′s, due to changing times. This word has also been banished from the lexicon, almost entirely.  I am not looking for a word to be stricken from the dictionary, just from common vernacular. Is this going to be a rights movement for LP? Probably not, but if I bring some awareness, I’ve achieved my goal.

I will repeat this, and I’m sure I will write another post about this once the dust settles, but my mission was and remains to be proactive and to educate. Team names have been changed in the past, labels on products, including Aunt Jemima’s (several) changes and the debate over the name Quaker Oats, which have nothing to do with Quakers and seems, to some, like a ploy to get people to think the brand is honest (not my thoughts, just what I read from others), and Albino Rhino Beer. There is a litany of examples I have found and all have met with some, if not a lot of, resistance to the change. Albino, by the way, is a medical term. Midget is not.

I firmly stand my ground. I want the m-word taken off products, sports teams and other items that use it in a casual manner- I believe that its use in this way promotes the idea that the word, in general, is OK. I am not in the business of suing or strong-arming anyone into agreement. I am here to educate.

I agree with everyone who reminds me that many kids, not just my own, will be bullied and made fun of- but does the derogatory word used towards people with the same diagnosis as my daughter also have the be the same word on the pickle jars at our local grocery store, or on the front of her sports uniform, too?

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January 23, 2013 · 9:00 am

Drool on me

So… I went to some craft shows to sell my bibs. I am donating a portion of the profits to my local LPA chapter… but I have to have profits first! Even with my mother-in-law helping me with a huge majority of the fabric, I’m still in the red with just Facebook sales, so I figured some shows would help.

I was wrong. But I’m OK with that. I will still be sending a donation District 1!

I didn’t truly enjoy my first show. It was a cold night and I saw about 12 people come in, total. I DID get to share a table with the awesome Sarah of Sweet ‘lil You- so that was fantastoc! But this is what my table looked like before and after the show:

Bird tree

Sign

Bibs

So, I tried my hand at the game a second time. I didn’t come up big, but I met some amazing crafters AND I didn’t leave empty handed. Or, in my case, cash box. Sadly, I only had a few business cards left, so I made these horrendous things- but I’m hoping to get over to Moo.com and order some pretty, new ones soon!

Bib and tutu

My info!

Tree

bib layout

I felt good while I was there, and the other tables around me were full of some beautiful things- from food to handcrafted jewelry! I just HAD to get earrings for my mom from Ella Grace Jewelry Design. If you ever want a statement piece, even one that you can wear everyday, THIS is your place! I also made a partnership with Rebecca & Me (her products are in my new baby gift baskets), and Silpada representative Jillian Lizotte is amazing!

I guess all is not lost- I hope to add to my crafting and be less specific to babies… or at least more well-rounded. Plus, I used items I had with me and made some adorable tutus for the holidays! I will say that I spoke to a handful of people about dwarfism, they had a bunch of questions, and it felt great to educate! There were a few times I heard normal and it made me cringe, but that’s when I gently respond replacing ‘normal’ with ‘average’, and I van tell by the nod they understand. It felt great to tell people Addie IS, essentially, normal (although any baby of mine is bound to be a tad strange). One woman said, “Oh that’s wonderful. I watch Little People Big World all the time. I love that family!”

I thought to myself, ‘you know what? It is wonderful.”

Please Like Type A Style’s page and consider handmade for all your gift-giving occasions!

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December 12, 2012 · 9:21 am

The Top 5

There are many discussions about mommy wars and who is the better parent (what is better anyway?). Who is right and who is wrong, and a whole bunch of opinions being tossed out by people who are not the parent of whatever child they have an issue with at the moment. People, remember to stop and smell the tulips sometimes. Life doesn’t have to be just one way. Oh, it’s roses, you say? We don’t all smell the same flowers:
Addie and a tullip

Sadly, this is nothing new. When I was engaged, my husband got an anonymous letter in the mail (typed) about not marrying someone for the wrong reasons. Yep. This happened. It was sent to his shop, from a zip code on the West End of Providence. It could have been anyone, but I have my own personal list. I remember someone making a comment about robbing the cradle and then winked at me. *ahem* I was 24 when I got married, I just looked like a baby.

Allebach Photography

Allebach Photography

So why did I think when I had a baby opinions, odd questions and random “winks” of knowledge would end? Because I’m hopeful, I suppose. I feel like having a child who is but 1 out of 45,000 makes her so special that people feel they can ask anything and it’s appropriate because it’s different, but rest assured, some questions are not meant to be asked. Google it next time, perhaps? BUT, more than a few people have asked me the following questions, so here are your answers.^

1. Will Addie grow normally and then stop at a certain age?
Addie will not grow as an average height child would. She will grow slower and possibly reach a height between 3 1/2 to 4 feet. Like any other person, she will be finished growing in her late teens. She may experience growing pains like anyone else, and she has growth spurts as any other infant does. At almost 8 months, Addie is about 24 inches. An average height child would be about 27 inches at 8 months.

2. If Addie’s head is bigger, does that mean she has a bigger brain? Does that make her smarter or dumber? (*One person actually asked if she would be more smarter or more stupider)
Addie’s head is bigger than an average height child’s head. In some cases with an AH child, this could mean a number of brain or skull abnormalities, including hydrocephalus. We were blessed in that Addie’s head size is just a physical tribute to achondroplasia, and does not have anything to do with a medical issue. Because her skull is larger, her brain is, in fact, larger. This has no bearing on her intelligence, either way. Children with achondroplasia are not more likely to have down syndrome, be autistic, have ADD or ADHD or have any certain allergies. Quite simply, their heads are just a bit bigger than average.
*This was from someone at a store who had commented on Addie’s head size and the conversation took off from there.

3. Will her body be even?
I wasn’t exactly sure what this question meant until it was re-worded as: will her body match. The question is still strange, but I understood it better. The answer is: no. Her body will not match or be even. With achondroplasia, the torso is closer to average size, while her arms and legs are shorter. Addie will also have small hands and feet, and as stated, her head will be a bit larger. A common, though not necessary, feature is a little bit of a belly and rolls. Though it’s cute now, this is not something that Addie will necessarily grow out of, thus nicknames such as Michelin Baby or Buddha are truly not things we want her to be called. She is beautiful, but her body will be different. I celebrate her different! The way she needs to have her jeans cuffed already and it looks super cute on her. The way 3/4-length shirts fit her arms perfectly. The way she wears super-cool toddler hats that are too big for most babies. The way I have more baby skin to kiss and more belly to tickle. A full head of hair to brush and small hands to hold on to. Her body is beautiful.

4. Can she have babies?
This question has been asked over a dozen times. The answer is, medically, yes. Addie can have a child. If her partner is another person with achondroplasia, there is a 25% chance of her baby being average height, 50% of the baby being a dwarf and a 25% chance of the child being born with 2 copies of the gene, which is fatal and known as homozygous Achondroplasia. There are a few different types of dwarfism combinations here. Not all numbers are the same depending on your source- science… so un-exact sometimes.
Addie will, if she decides to have children, need to have a cesarean section- but, she should, with a healthy lifestyle, carry a pregnancy just fine.
As her parent, she has to be allowed out of the house first, so NO, she cannot have a baby!

5. Is there a cure?
And finally, no. There is no cure. Dwarfism is not a disease. Addie’s achondroplasia was caused by a spontaneous mutation in a gene called FGFR3. There is nothing wrong with her. She laughs when I dance, she babbles about her “dadadadadada” and she rolls all over the place to get what she wants. She can stand when leaning against her crib railing, and she puts herself to sleep at night. She loves carrots and turkey, and she thinks throwing things on the floor is hysterical. She eats puffs and her toes. She loves to swim and pull my glasses off my face. She is your average baby… just a bit shorter. But, if you didn’t know this already: the best things in life come in small packages.

I am aware that there are some awkward double standards out there, my least favorite being if you look up what a child with dwarfism looks like on Google images, there are multiple pictures of naked children with dwarfism. If those children were of average stature, that would be child pornography. I do not think it is human to want to examine a anyone in this manner. I know when people first see Addie sometimes I see their eyes scan her whole body, looking for something to be different. Searching her limbs for their incongruity with her torso, or staring just a bit too long at her head or belly. I’ve seen the look in the eyes when they’re caught. The shame that floods someone when they’ve examined a child the way a scientist looks over a subject. Someone whispered an apology to me.  The size of cars, football teams and pickles are described using a derogatory term that offends thousands of people, yet the media still uses it widespread. Imagine another derogatory term used so casually? I’m sure the ACLU would be up in arms.

That being addressed, please ask questions about dwarfism. Remember the way things are worded and what your words insinuate can hurt and offend. If you wouldn’t want someone to ask you questions in such a manner, perhaps an internet search may be a better way to find your answer. I am all ears and eager to learn the things that I don’t yet know and educate others on the things I do, but when things get personal- please remember- this is, and always will be, my baby.

Addie

^ Not every question on this list was inappropriate, but sometimes the way the question was posed was what got to me. Again, please be a wordsmith when asking tough questions.

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November 30, 2012 · 10:00 am

Hallmark Moments

I received an email a few weeks ago from Hallmark (I LOVE Hallmark), but I discarded it. A contest to draw a charm that will be made into one they will sell. Drawing? Me? No thank you.

But, then I looked at all the charms I had, and a book to circle ones I want. I saw a lot of awareness and I was jealous. There is a pink ribbon (three different ones), a yellow ribbon, a puzzle piece for autism, a block for St. Jude, and the list goes on. But there was nothing for dwarfism. So I thought I don’t want another ribbon out there. I don’t want to be associated with something that needs a cure. I want to wear my awareness proudly on my bracelet. I want to show off that I love Christmas, I have a baby girl, I am married, I have a (smelly) dog and I know someone with dwarfism. Some one very close. I want my baby girl to have more representation in the world than she currently does.

I want Hallmark to help us raise awareness!

Dwarfism Awareness hand

This is my hideous drawing. I know what you’re thinking: you can’t even trace your hand! It’s true. I am only good at drawing words on a page. If you were expecting art, you are looking at the wrong woman. But here is my idea- my submission. You can submit two drawings, but I only need one. I need the beautiful trident fingers of our babies wearing a green bracelet to be around my wrist. I want people to ask: what is that charm? What does that mean to you? I want people to think it’s interesting. I want to gift it to others. I want to launch more than green rubber bracelets (that don’t always look fashionable). I want everyone to have a charm that they can look down at and smile; think of Addie, or Hailey or Knoah.

Thank you, Hallmark, for giving me this opportunity. I hope I we win!

#educate

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August 12, 2012 · 3:02 pm

Facebook …and a prize!

Hello readers.

These past few days have been some days of reckoning! I love my baby girl and sometimes taking the time to look inward and find my own strength instead of leaning on others is extremely important. Having so much love and support means the world to me, but I need to remember my own two legs, too!

That being said, let’s get some education out to the public!!! Enough is enough! There are so many negative things in the media about dwarfism- even just the use of the word midget. I said it. Once. And once is enough. I don’t care who thinks it’s an OK word to use to describe someone or themselves. It is NOT OK with me, and I won’t have the word used to describe my daughter. The more people who know about and understand dwarfism, all the many types AND  that little people are just as capable as you or me, the less stereotyping and harassment will be out there.

There is a wonderful website I want everyone to help me promote… please visit the page and LIKE! their Facebook page. Spread the knowledge!

After you like their page and Addie’s page, please comment on this post. I will be doing a random drawing in September and I will post a blog with the winner! Of what? You may ask: a $25 Visa Gift Card to use however you please. SPREAD THE WORD, GET PAID!!!!

So, please go LIKE and LIKE, then post and… KEEP READING and spreading the word to get your payday!

Just an image to brighten your day <3
me loving on Adelaide

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August 11, 2012 · 10:00 am

Pardon my French but: &odd%$n you, Teen Mom 2

When a headline begins with Teen Mom Leah gets more bad news about baby Ali, I feared the worst. Let’s be honest, it’s trash TV, but I cannot help my freakish addiction to these sad teenagers who can’t seem to get their stuff together. I am no Mother Theresa, but seriously ladies, what the heck is going on in your heads? And why, Netflix, did you decide to have this in your instant queue option?!

Watching episode after episode of Leah wondering why Ali is not keeping up with her sister breaks my heart. Her emotions seem tangible and I can taste her tears as my own. But reading these words below, makes me feel sad. Sad for me. I knew Addie had rapid head growth- I feared hydrocephalus. At one point, at Hasboro, I said to my husband: “It doesn’t matter what the doctors say, I’ve already diagnosed her as a hydrocephalic dwarf. So I’m  prepared.” And I was. I embraced the news that she is not hydrocephalic like a champ, and I will forever be attempting to navigate life for her as an achondroplastic. I love my baby girl, and I will never let her suffer.
From the internet:

Enough with the mixed messages! First we have Corey contrasting a camouflage cap with a neon T-shirt, then Leah’s geneticist is trying to scare all our happy away. Just last week we were celebrating baby Ali’s “normal” test results and first time standing; tonight Leah was told her young daughter might actually suffer from skeletal dysplasia — or dwarfism. Whatever her condition turns out to be (and recent pictures show a very stark contrast between Ali and her twin sister’s development), we know their coal-mining fairy tale does not come true.

Can we start with the word suffer? Addie won’t ever dunk a basketball in the WNBA, but I hardly think that she’s going to, or is, suffering from achondroplasia. It’s a diagnosis. An explanation as to why she is so “wee”, but she is amazing. She is beautiful. She is Adelaide Eileen. My child is a dwarf, but she does not suffer. In fact, she thrives- AND, she lives to tell George all about it!

There are a ton of issues with the multiple brief accounts of “Leah and Ali”, but my main “beef” lies with the suffering, sadness, fear, and delayed commentary. Addie is not suffering, and neither are Dave nor myself. We have no sadness, and no fear. We are aware of some of the challenges she may face, but we do not fear them. And as far as delays go, Addie is on track with the AH (average height) children, so we have no worries there. But, should she fall behind, there is a chart specifically for HER!

This is my PSA: being a dwarf does not mean you suffer. There can be many scary situations ahead for Addie, but there are an infinite number of possibilities for all of the amazing experiences that lay ahead for her, too! Good luck to baby Ali- may you be little or may you be big, you don’t have to suffer for anything.

EDUCATE YOURSELVES!

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August 1, 2012 · 12:03 am

Hallmark

Aside from all of the  heavy things there are out there to vent, pursue, educate and cry about, I thought I would treat you to some ridiculous, if not heartwarming, writing. A lighthearted piece, if you will.

For starters, happy 15 weeks to the beautiful Miss Adelaide Eileen! (And hello Aunt Jessie- we love you, clearly!)

Onto the meat of this puff piece:
I love Christmas. And when I say love, I mean I’m obsessed. I got on a ladder, perching  off the side of the columns in the front of my house at 18 weeks pregnant to put up Christmas lights last year and I cannot wait to pass the sickness along to Addie.

Every year we get a new Hallmark ornament. From childhood my mom made sure we had an ornament that was chosen specifically for us. My brothers have the Star Wars series, my sister the Barbie series, my Dad (when he was alive) got the penguin/snowman on ice every year, and we always got her something to do with gardening. (We also got her matching lipstick and nail polish and a cloth calendar for the year, which we can no longer find.) I have the Puppy Love series, beginning from it’s inception in 1991. I have many others, and I’ve attempted to wrangle every boyfriend and best friend ever into the love of the holidays by purchasing them their very own ornament for the tree, but the most important ones are the ones that my mom chose for me. I know that she loves the ornaments and decorations I made with thumb prints drawn into reindeer or a Santa and elves. But my favorites are each and every one that I placed on the tree with my mom at Christmas and opened on Christmas Eve. The small puppies smiling at me from a basket or wrapped in a scarf, perfectly wrapped in their original boxes, waiting to be taken out and hung.

And now, it’s my turn.  As I walked into the Hallmark store in Garden City, Cranston for the Christmas in July weekend, I was nervous. I wanted to get the right 1st Christmas ornament for her.

I looked at them all. Then I walked away and picked out Dave’s ornament (he gets the guitar one ever year) and checked out the baby ones again. Then I walked away to think.  Then I walked back and I saw it. Somehow I had missed it. lil’ peanut was staring at Addie, whom I fondly refer to as my baby beanut. Yes: Beanut. I don’t know why or how it began, but it did and it’s become one of her million names. And here was this ornament staring me in the face and making me tear up. The poor sales girl who watched me pace and compare for 45 minutes while holding Addie who was drooling all over me, must have thought I was crazy.

I know it’s just and ornament to most people, but to me, it’s the beginning. The first of many memories that I cannot wait to have with my beautiful baby girl. I can’t wait to light our Chanukkah candles and pass on the tradition of silly gifts: socks, headbands, gloves, scarves, a hat- eight silly gifts to pale in the shadow of such a beautiful story about the holiday. And to celebrate Christmas with midnight mass, opening her ornament on the eve of, and waking up way too early to eat a chocolate orange strategically shoved in the toe of a custom L.L.Bean stocking.

So here is her ornament:

If you’re in the area for the holidays, please stop in- we would love to celebrate with you- no matter what holiday you celebrate.

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