Tag Archives: love

Marvelous Monday

Dear Summer,

You’ve been a bit of a cruel one. Two MRIs. Two surgeries. Countless days spent with fevers, in pain, tears streaming down her face. My sweet baby’s face. Watching my firstborn in pain I know I’ll never know. Pain I couldn’t heal.

But, here’s the deal, Summer. I won’t let you win. I choose to remember the best days this summer… I choose to remember Summer 2014 like this.

#Aisforadelaide #Summer 2014 She is Fierce

Have a beautiful Monday, Reader.

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A Birth Blessing

A friend once gave me a beautiful blessing before my first birth, and I recently found it tucked away in a pile of papers from 2012. I wanted to share it with you, along with some gorgeous photos that were taken by artist Lisa Gendron of Agroterra Birth. You can read more about Lisa next week (her doula piece is coming out!!!!), but before that, take a look at some of these moments caught during my maternity photo session:

#aisforadelaide #maternity #Agroterra #photography #motherandchild Baby kisses

Maternity Photoshoot by Agroterra Photography #aisforadelaide

#aisforadelaide #motherhood #blackandwhitephotography Marternity Photos

Looking at what she was able to get on film, she truly captured how I feel pregnant and how I feel with Addie. There is just connection. Love. Deeply rooted in me, who I was meant to be: Mom.

#aisforadelaide #maternity #Agroterra #photography #motherandchild

These moments speak more than what I could write about- they’re more than an embrace in a picture, they’re my vulnerabilities about myself and motherhood and being a woman unfolding and melting away. They’re they inspiration on harder days. They’re the sunshine in the rain.

Thank you, Lisa, for your love, compassion and for sharing your incredible talents as a photographer and friend.

A Birth Blessing,
by Shiloh Sophia McCloud

 

Maternity #blackandwhitephotography Agroterra Photography #aisforadelaide

May your body Be STRONG.
Your womb Be OPEN.
Your mind Be PEACE.
Your support Be WISE.
Your birth Be WELL.
Your baby Be BORN in HEALTH, HAPPINESS and HARMONY.

…and if you can’t get enough of Lisa’s amazing work, check out her Birth and Photography sites!

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Filed under Pregnancy/Birth

Dear Camille… heed this warning

Dearest baby girl,

You’re not even here yet, and you are so loved. I wanted to warn you of this before you are born. Before you are showered with love and affection. Before you grow up to be the little sister who will search for love from your big sister. Before you, yourself, may (no promises) become a big sister and get launched into the middle.

Before anything, heed my warning: You are loved more than you will ever know.

#aisforadelaide stretch marks #pregnancy #iloveyou

The other morning I looked in the mirror and saw what I’d failed to see before… stretch marks. Some were dark and deep, but mostly they’re just marks. They’re there and they will fade, but never disappear. I felt sad. I have not been feeling beautiful. I have been run down and stressed. I’ve had days where I haven’t eaten a thing and others where I’ve over indulged. The lack of sleep caught up with my skin and my long hair is in need of a trip to save the ends.

Your big sister walked up to me and kissed my belly. “You have beautiful belly, mama. I lotion.” She took a bottle from the nightstand and asked me for some. I pumped it into her tiny palms and she rubbed my tummy, talking about “my Millie” and repeating “I a big sister” again and again. Not once did she focus on my newly forming stretch marks.

#aisforadelaide #pregnancy stretch marks #thirdtrimester

You are loved.

I thought later that night I would tell Daddy about the morning Addie and I had, but instead, as I went to take her down from the dinner table, she asked to see my belly again. Begrudgingly, I lifted my shirt up. “Pretty mommy. My Millie.” Followed by a showering of kisses, her little hands feeling all  over looking for signs  of your kicks and flutters. For minutes we stood like that. Hands on my belly, kisses and her coos showering  you. “Baby sister,” she finally said, putting one more kiss on me as she signaled for my shirt to come down.

#aisforadelaide stretch marks #sisterlove #pregnancy

You are loved.

These stretch marks scare me. But they do not scar me. I am proud to be  your mother. To grow my stripes for you.

Heed this warning, and repeat it on the days that you feel like the angst-y teen I am sure to produce (I, myself, was quite the angst-y one):

You are loved more than you will ever know.

love,
mom

 

 

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All That Swaggers is Good

Dear Adelaide,

I love being your mom. I’ve been watching you these past few weeks and you’ve just grown leaps and bounds… even in your feet (they’re holding you up so much better since surgery)!

I teared up watching you walk the other day. The way you swagger like no other, the bow in your legs,and sway in your back offering me a comfort others may take for granted. Regardless of things so many doctors said, you’re walking and running. Your gait distinctly Adelaide Eileen. There’s no mistaking all that makes you uniquely you… and it is that which brings me to tears and laughter. All at the same time. This summer has been hard, but I know that whatever you face, we will face together- and it is your strength that will bring us through.

#aisforadelaide #amotherslove #swagger #strength

As we enter another chapter- you becoming a big sister- I’m excited to see how much you flourish!

I love you and your swagger,
Mom

 

 

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Marvelous Monday

This week is post-op follow up! I am excited for a marvelous Monday… and Tuesday (where we will be back in dance) and Wednesday (where we’ll be back in Rock-a-Baby), and Thursday (which is our appointment) and Friday (when we’ll get a chance to sit and relax and go to a big family event!). It’s been a roller coaster of a summer and now that we’re on the mend, I wanted to celebrate a little bit! We’re so thankful to have some celebration, after all!

#aisforadelaide Marvelous Monday #farmersmarket #weekend #endofsummer

BIG strides happened last week! and I wanted to recap it all as we embark upon another week, sure to show more improvement!
ONE: Addie was off ALL pain medications starting mid-week, and aside from some of the expected soreness and some itchiness, she is doing great!
TWO: We also got pushed out of speech therapy! Addie has been in it because of her ear tubes (we only had sessions once every 6-8 weeks), and we finally had our follow up to tube surgery with our therapist and she and I both agreed that we were done. Addie has wonderful speech, is using inclusive words (“Come with me, mommy. Daddy you come, too.”), is understanding the difference between different but similar emotions, and all-around just doesn’t need speech anymore. We discussed how when Addie’s tubes fall out she may have periods where she will stop doing things (she stopped singing when her ears filled with fluid these past few months), but that it will come back and the sooner we take care of it, the better.
THREE: We also talked about how we would transition her out of Early Intervention. A LOT to think about, but it gave us a great end to the last week- and a wonderful start to our marvelous Monday!!!

I am excited that we’ve come such a long way from where we were 2 weeks ago… and that we were able to enjoy our weekend together- with matching nails, almost finishing Millie’s room, sibling class and going to the farmers market. It was a full weekend, but certainly a wonderful way to start the close out of our summer.

#aisforadelaide #jamberry #julep #nailart Marvelous Monday

Addie went to her sibling class on Saturday, and while it was more for fun, I loved watching her carry around a giant, heavy baby doll, learn to change a diaper and read a book with Dave about becoming a big sister (one she’d read before from the library!). It was a lot of fun.

#aisforadelaide Marvelous Monday #siblingclass

With Addie enjoying a gumbo full of okra on Saturday night, we’re onto cooking leeks and purple potatoes this week… we will surely miss the market when it closes, but will take every advantage of trying all the local fresh fruits and veggies until then!

#aisforadelaide #famersmarket Marvelous Monday #veggies

With an amazing week ahead of us, we’re wishing you a Marvelous Monday and week, Reader!

lots of love,

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Breastfeeding Chart *printable*

Those first few days are hard… Breastfeeding doesn’t come easy to everyone (it didn’t for me), and to remember what’s going on when you’re exhausted is hard work! Before Addie was born, I made a chart and kept a pen clipped to it. By having this chart, I knew what was what those first few days, and I didn’t have to remember to move a bracelet, click a button or rely on my memory for which side she’d nursed from before. I am packing the same list for Millie’s arrival in just a few weeks!

#aisforadelaide Breastfeeding Chart #camillethea #pregnancy #birth

While breastfeeding isn’t easy for everyone, making it as easy as possible is as simple as being prepared!

Breastfeeding Chart  <— the full PDF!

I hope printing this out helps you (or a friend) on your breastfeeding adventure!

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Filed under Pregnancy/Birth

Listen to Your Mother… that’s me!

I am still full of awe and honor to have been a part of the 2014 Providence Cast of Listen to Your Mother….

Listen to Your Mother Providence Cast 2014 #aisforadelaide

(My intro written by the talented Carla Molina at All of Me Now):
Chelley Martinka is a Philly native with a little thing for Game of Thrones. A closet drummer, she’s a mom to one awesome kid living with dwarfism and is expecting her second daughter this fall. Chelley is up next with “Do It Ugly.”

Do it Ugly

Everyday, when I look at my planner, I see this quote, Dream so big you’ll look like an idiot if God doesn’t step in!

It’s a reminder to do it ugly. To get in in past my ankles, waist deep. To get dirty, cut- go full throttle.

Growing up, I was loud. I would sneak out. I smoked cigarettes and overly enjoyed cheap beer. I played a lot of sports and I was rough when I did it. I got injured. I suffered from depression. I liked a good party. I liked to study so much I graduated college with a 3.5 in 3 years with almost no friends. I got tattooed. And then got some more. I got dermal anchors before they were a trend. I dated. I over committed to people that needed “saving” and after they were saved, I moved on. I broke hearts. I uprooted myself a lot, took on a lot of jobs, was reckless with my emotions and other people’s hearts.

Doing it ugly was more about how low I could go. How many problems I could fix of someone else’s while ignoring my own needs- uselessly helping others chase their desires. I knew I’d never stick around long enough to see the ending. Like the friend who needed money for car payments… a loan I would never see the repayment of- I worked weeks of overtime. I’m not quite sure why, except it seemed like the right thing to do. I was a wild one with a sucker-streak- looking to take care of all the people surrounding me, and sleeping as little as possible while doing so.

But then it happened. I was approached by a lion tamer with the patience of a kindergarten teacher and heart of a saint. Some have come to call him Dave. So here I was married. A wife. Together we ripped apart the money pit and created a home. We both worked long ours and enjoyed uneventful hikes with our dog and nights by the firepit with friends.

Gone was the Chelley of the past, replaced with this woman who quit smoking, ran half marathons, was letting someone else take care of her once in a while, learned to enjoy wine over whiskey and, for whom staying up late lost its once alluring appeal. Who the hell was I, now?

Not looking for redefinition, she came- The reason I had to get all riled up again. My reason for getting my hands dirty- I was ready for parenting. Here I was, rolling up my sleeves and spending late hours burning the midnight oil- literally- we have oil heat. But I was more than prepared, I’d been practicing to parent this special lady since my days as a rebellious teen.

I knew everything I did from the moment I heard her cry would be things she would be proud of. My perseverance would be her life lesson. I would work hard, and when she was diagnosed with a high-functioning disability, I knew I would dig harder than I’d ever imagined. With letters, videos and a blog, I would educate about our life as a family. I’d take attacks and hard words and fight to change the stigma. I’d create a team consisting of specialists in Massachusetts, Delaware and Rhode Island. I don’t know the answer to that, would be an answer I’d never settle with.

I would allow no one thing would define my sweet girl, a lesson I’d learned from my own mother. Dwarfism, gender, religion or a favorite band would simply be aspects.

I would raise her to be generous, dignified and tough. A woman who could do whatever she pleased, in jeans or a skirt, at a bar watching the game or in the courtroom arguing her case. With my biggest dream being a world that truly sees no difference between my Adelaide and any other human. Recognizing her disability as something about her, not something that defines her.

I spent two days bringing her into the world… and I will give my life to give her dreams so big that she never knows what the ground looks like with her eyes closed.

And while most of my days are beautiful- I work hard to make sure they are. Everything in life that feels like it’s too much is all the more reason to get in there. To do it ugly. Everyday isn’t a fight, but when it is, I make sure it’s worth it, to go hard.

This life is my one shot to make it what I want and give that power to my future warrior woman- and no one will lessen my gusto or dampen my dreams- not even God, herself.

Listen to the cast:

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Filed under Educate/Adovocate/Make Change

Hospital Bag for Mama and Baby-to-Be!

This is what I’m bringing in my hospital bag! I am excited to welcome Millie (yesterday I was 35 weeks!)… and I cannot believe how fast it’s going. I decided to pack a few weeks early so I would be ready to go! (Not seen, but packed: My Birth Preferences, BFing chart- which you can find in Friday’s post, as well as a list of numbers and names that are important- doula, OB, pediatrician, insurance company, newborn photographer, church, and, of course, Mom!)

Roll over each image to learn more:

 

 

 

I was not paid for this post… I just love these goodies! (I did receive a headband from Bzzyfingers… and I cannot wait to buy some more for my sweet girls to match!)

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August 20, 2014 · 7:00 am

LPA Fashion Show #lpaSD2014

While we enjoyed all the workshops that the LPA National Conference had for us, we also loved participating in other events- like the Fashion Show! Check out Addie in her first appearance in the LPA Fashion show at #lpaSD2014!

LPA Fashion Show #lpaSD2014 #aisforadelaide

#aisforadelaide LPA Fashion Show #lpaSD2014 #rehearsal

#aisforadelaide #lpaSD2014 #firsttime LPA Fashion Show

#aisforadelaide #lpaSD2014 LPA Fashion Show #cuteasabutton

#aisforadelaide LPA Fashion Show #runway First try!

#aisforadelaide #lpaSD2014 #finalrunwaywalk LPA Fashion Show

#aisforadelaide #addiandjack ##lpaSD2014 LPA Fashion Show

#aisforadelaide LPA Fashion Show #addieANDPayton #lpaSD2014

#aisforadelaide #LPASD2014 #life LPA Fashion Show


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Marvelous Monday

It’s ok that the day itself may not be marvelous, because the life that follows will be.

And that’s the damn truth.

I’ve struggled with what is OK to share, and what isn’t, and while Addie is at such a young age, I think it’s helpful for parents to know about what may happen with their small children, especially their children with dwarfism going through scarier surgeries, like decompression. For us, we may have a special case (Addie doesn’t seem to bounce back from anesthesia very well), but here’s the story.

Many parents have recalled surgeries from years past and reminded me that our kids bounce back. I totally agree that they do- Addie is such  a fighter, sometimes I think she must not be mine. But just because she fights doesn’t mean that sometimes her body doesn’t betray her, or that the bounce that some people recall as “a few days” really was closer to a few weeks… but who can remember years ago in such detail?

So… while it is fresh in my memory, while I’m living it, let me tell you what last week brought us, and why not being 100% doesn’t make this a bad week.

(Disclosure: Addie has decompression of the foramen magnum and a C1 laminectomy. There is a photo at the very end of the post you can enlarge to see the incision.)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

When we got to the hospital, she was asking for banana. Thrilled that Daddy was going on an adventure during the week, I could tell she knew where we were when we left the car with Hasbro’s valet. We walked in the door, I led the way to the admission room- this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. After check-in, we went up to the 2nd floor to meet with our team, do vitals, review health records… the usual. When I saw Dr. Deer, I was thrilled. I’d requested him to lead the anesthesia team and I could feel myself breathe a sigh of relief when I saw his face. “I knew the name looked familiar…” he smiled… as he’d just put Addie under for her MRI in June. Thankfully, the second I asked, Addie’s neurosurgeon put in my request. Things were starting off well.

After the big stuff was done, we went on to the way cool things, like a syringe of Versed (aka Midazolam, used before surgery or medical tests to make you feel sleepy and relaxed – This medicine is a benzodiazepine) and the playroom. As she played, I reminded Dave to pick her up after a bit because she would get loopy. He grinned and scooped her up. She looked up at him and explained in a slow voice with a beaming smile, something about Sesame Street and Cookie Monster then laughed. He looked at me… “told ya,” I laughed. He was wearing the OR gear that was reserved for me… only I am pregnant and can’t go back to the OR with the gas. I gave her kisses and more kisses and a hug that I could feel was being taken away from me. “OK, Mom. We’re ready. Dad, follow me.”

#aisforadelaide #spinaldecompression surgery #incision pre-op

And they were off. I stood there, motionless, for what seemed like 10 minutes. Then I started to pace. I stood in the doorway when he finally came back towards me- making a right to strip off the gown, hairnet and mask, and then a left to come back to the waiting room. We gathered our bags and headed to the surgical waiting room. The patient progress monitor (sort of like a departures/arrivals screen at an airport, but with patient number and status) was not updating from the day before, and I was apprehensive the whole time because it was never fixed… but with Dave sitting near the phone, I was sure we would know something soon.

And then 3 hours passed into 4. It rang… “You’re speaking with him,” Dave spoke into the receiver. I popped up from the couch where I’d been in a sleepy stupor, started grabbing my things around me and my bag. “Ok, thank you,” and he hung up. “She’s done? Can I see her? What did they say?” In his usual calm demeanor, he told me, “about another hour.” I started the timer. An hour left.

I played with my ribbons relentlessly. Orange and purple she’d said. “Should mommy wear them in a bow?” I asked. “Yes, ok,” she replied. And those were what I was holding on to.

aisforadelaide recovery surgery colors #prayforaddie #incision

At about 7 after 1 (5 hours and 7 minutes after I’d seen her), Dr. Klinge walked in. I looked at her with this anticipation and excitement that felt like it was jumping off me. As she sat down, we talked about Addie’s compression and how it looked once she got in there. She showed ultrasounds that she took of the spinal cord, the flow, and discussed how there was some scarring around her dura (the outermost of the three layers of the meninges that surround the brain and spinal cord) and pinching. I heard nothing except, “no permanent damage. We took care of it all…” as she talked on. I was handed a bag of Addie’s baby curls with her name on them, and  “Do you have any questions?” she asked.

“When can I see her?”

She smiled at me and we talked a bit more… and then she left. Addie would be going to her PICU room before we could see her (skipping the general recovery area), and after what seemed like an eternity, I saw him. Dr. Deer walked toward me and I stood so fast my chair fell over (to be fair, the HUGE bag of Addie’s medical history was on the back). I scrambled to grab everything as he told us she did great and we could come back to see her. As he scanned his badge to PICU, my heart was slamming. “She’s asking for something… a bunk…” the nurse trailed off. “Binky bunky!” I grabbed her pacifier, lifted her mask and placed it in her mouth. Immediately she calmed… but once she saw Dave, she begged to have him. He sat down and held onto her with all his might as she settled.

#aisforadelaide #spinaldecompression #surgery incision #recovery

PhotoGrid_1407878073807

The first night was rough, but we made it through. As the nurse told me what her lines were for I cringed. Fluids, morphine, Valium. I felt like I was in a panic and was pretty stressed out. Dave got us dinner and even in her stupor, Addie was thrilled that my dinner included guacamole. After we got  her settled, Dave went home for the night. Around 3am I woke up and paged our nurse. The pain in my right side was excruciating, my belly was tight… a contraction that wouldn’t let go. “Do you want a wheelchair?” Julie, our nurse, asked. She was so nice… looking at me with encouraging eyes- I think she wanted to wheel me to Women & Infants. “I just need to drink some water,” I assured her. For about 20 minutes I stretched, drank water and walked around. Finally, I was able to lay back down. Scared I was going to bring labor on, I did my best to sleep, but around 4am, Addie woke up. She was puffy and itchy and wanted to be held… so I did what any 34-week pregnant mom would do. I adjusted myself as best  I could and held her to my chest. She immediately went back to sleep and I cried into her shoulder.

#aisforadelaide #recovery #dayone #incision Spinal Decompression Surgery

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Her first PT and OT session went well, although she was shaking due to lack of food and a high dose of meds, but… I got my first smile! And that made my heart soar.

#aisforadelaide #firstsmile #recovery #surgery #postop #incision

We left PICU around 1pm Wednesday, and Addie had some visitors, which made her quite sleepy!

#aisforadelaide #recovery #day2 #sleepingtoddler #incision

She wept a lot throughout the day, and stayed on her morphine and fluids, barely eating anything. Dave came as soon as he got out of work, which was just what she needed. Addie had woken up in a stupor around 6:15pm and screamed for him for a better part of an hour as multiple people tried to console her, including her Auntie Ashley. But then Daddy was there… and all was well in the world, again. Daddy makes everything better, with our one mishap coming when the line in her foot loosened as it was being taken out and blood went everywhere. Thankfully, it was one of those “looks worse than it is” things (and no, I won’t show you the picture).

#aisforadelaide #addieanddaddy #recovery #spinaldecompression #surgery #incision

We snuggled in for the night, and Dave tucked us both in with her gently whimpering for him. The wrap around her head was bothering her, but I was glad it was there. I wasn’t ready to see the full incision, which was only half visible from underneath a piece of gauze. When Addie rolled over a while later, screaming in pain, I buzzed the nurse, who came in and put another dose of morphine on for her. She looked at me through drowsy eyes and asked for “mama’s pillow”… the pregnancy pillow I’d brought for myself now neatly nestled her small body in it’s curve, leaving me with the hospital pillows to ease my aching body. Her body was wrapped up in barely anything, but she was running warm and we monitored her fever, which stayed low, throughout the night.

#aisforadelaide #addieanddaddy #incision #spinaldecompression Conversation with Dave

Thursday, August 14, 2014

PhotoGrid_1408029189239

Thursday went well, with a PT trip to the activity room, a visit from Grandpa and Poppy (Dave’s dad and grandfather), and time spent with Namah (Dave’s mom). When the bandage was removed, she put her head in my hands to scratch- I went to town, gently rubbing her forehead and behind her ears. I could feel her body relaxing. When I first saw the incision I was taken aback. It was beautiful- her warrior badge shown upon her little head with such gusto and force. It almost took my breath away. From where I was sitting, it looked like 6 inches. There was something so unobtrusive about it… it was there, but her hair would cover much of it, and the stitches, being dissolvable, were not dark or menacing.

#aisforadelaide #day3 #recovery #spinaldecompression #surgery incision

She did great all day… most of the day, but after nap time, she was irritable and upset. She’d slept through her medication time, and because we were trying to go all by-mouth, she was unhooked from the IV. My mistake for thinking her being asleep was substitute- when she woke up she was grabbing her neck and screaming through tears. I buzzed the nurse who rushed meds in for her. As I calmed her and gave her lunch, she felt warm. We continued to monitor her fever, which stayed low into the night.

Addie had taken all of her medication by mouth the whole day, and thus we were almost a shoe-in to go home the next day! As I settled her into bed and laid down next to her, we both drifted to sleep. I felt Dave kiss us both and whisper I love you before leaving. I wanted to cry when he left… even though I was mostly asleep, I missed him at night. About 2 hours later Addie woke up screaming. We got her some more meds and she looked at me with these big pained eyes. I felt awful. Her fever was almost gone and she just wanted to go home. “You want to get out of here?” I whispered. She grabbed my face and smiled before we both tried to go back to sleep.

#aisforadelaide #recovery #PT #incision

Friday, August 15, 2014

After not sleeping much (she somehow takes over all beds), I hopped up and was dressed and ready for discharge before Dave even got to the hospital for his morning visit.

#aisforadelaide #pregnancy #34weeks #baby2 #camillethea #recovery #spinaldecompression #surgery

The pediatrician came in (I love that our pedi checks in with the hospitalized patients every day) and looked in Addie’s ears. With a diagnosis of no ear infection, we knew that muscle spasms were responsible for some of the waking and night screams. I agreed to leave the hospital with a script for a muscle relaxant… For my two year old. This idea went against every fiber of my being, but her being in pain wasn’t something I could handle. We were almost packed and ready to go when we got word that neuro was backed-up and wouldn’t be up to check Addie out for a while. With a sad goodbye, Dave made his way into work. As he left, I checked her head. She’s warm. “100.9°, mom. We’ll keep an eye on it.”

For hours, no one came. I tried to get fluids and food into her, we met with PT and played, and she rested. Slowly, with some meds, the fever lessened- and being under 101.5º, the neurologist agreed we could be discharged. If you know anything about the discharge process, it’s not quick. Paperwork to leave, scripts, instructions and signatures all need to happen before we get the approval, but when Dave came back at 6pm, we were ready. With bags, balloons and flowers in the wagon and Addie chomping at the bit to “please, I go outside now,” we made our way to the revolving door of Hasbro Children’s Hospital.

#aisforadelaide #spinaldecompression #incision #balloons #getwell

As she brushed her teeth for bed, I ran downstairs and grabbed my measuring tape. “I need to know,” I said to Dave. He knew what I meant. “Exactly 3 inches,” he said. And that was that. Our first night was OK, with bags of liquids, diazepam in pill form (yes, a pill…) and some sorbet for good measure, I left CVS. Addie took her meds with some disdain and headed to bed, waking only once and settling with a second dose of medication and some snuggles, until 7:30!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

With a morning reminiscent of most other mornings at home, Addie wanted to do something… so we headed out to the Hope Street Farmer’s Market in Providence (RI). She did great, and though I was upset about one person who sidestepped me and got in close to Dave’s shoulder checking out the back of Addie’s head, our mid-afternoon adventure was great- running into friends and enjoying some fresh air!

Addie came home and took a great nap, again waking in pain. Managing sleep times and pain management is a challenge I don’t think I will ever truly conquer. For the rest of the day she was OK, coming out of her grogginess and enjoying a trip to the grocery store for some dinner staples. But then sleep came in clips. After settling in, she woke up screaming and grabbing her head. I could see she was trying to get out of bed- not a good thing for a toddler on muscle relaxants, so Dave ran in while I went downstairs to get her meds. She settled in with him, but just an hour later was up and screaming again- at her door! I picked her up and brought her into bed, where she continued to scream through the night… unable to tell us what was wrong, Dave and I could do nothing but hold her and try to get her in a comfortable position.

Sometimes I feel helpless as a parent… this was one of those nights I felt like a total failure. Her cry left me in pain, and my inability to fix it left me in shame.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

I first saw her Sunday morning when Dave carried her into the bedroom with my coffee. My eyes half opened, I heard her squeak, “Good morning, Mommy!” My heart felt lighter… she was doing OK. Dave looked a little rough, but I knew he would be fine. Our day, as all the others since the surgery, was up and down. There was some crying and pain, but there were also moments of love and snuggles. Her love of being outside and exploring, hand holding and snuggles made their way into each corner of our day, and we’re on the mend. We’re getting there.

#aisforadelaide #addieanddaddy #spinaldecompressionsurgery #recovery #theresnoplacelikehome #snuggles #incision

With just 5 weeks to go to 40 weeks, Dave and I are laughing at the lack of sleep… Hardcore prepping for baby two, people have jested. Loving our girls and giving them all of us, is more like it. Martinkadelux- always a team.

Here’s to a beautiful week, Reader. Mondays where we choose to see the marvelous, create it for ourselves and spread it to others.

love,

WARNING:

BELOW IS A PICTURE OF HER INCISION BY THE DAY:

#Aisforadelaide #decompressionsurgery #incision

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Filed under Achondroplasia, Marvelous Monday, Parenting/Family/Lifestyle