I really do believe that.
Monday is the day for taking care of what you need, to get to where you’re going. It’s for getting started. Monday is for not saying “tomorrow” anymore, but TODAY.
Last week I lost a friend. Not a friend like many of us have grown up defining, but a woman who challenged me on my beliefs. In God, in politics, in schooling. But never in love. We knew how much we put into relationships, friendships, our children. And somehow that lessened the [often times] belligerent way we had discussions. How we worshiped, who we were voting for, our stance on gun control, and homeschooling did not define who we were, but our morals and codes by which we lived.
And I needed that connection. That grounding. We spoke weekly.
But we never met.
I wanted to share this with you because I kept meaning to make the 2 hour drive to hang out. I meant to go and have a play date, make it to the beach, have a sledding adventure. But I never did. I didn’t have the time, the gas money. I didn’t do what I wanted to do because I made excuses. We finally decided that this winter would be the one where the girls would play, her 3 and my 2, in the snow on our sledding hill.
While I am riddled with guilt for this right now, I know the biggest personal lesson I need to take from this deep tragedy is to stop making excuses. This is the moment to do what I said I would, what I almost started. For myself and my family.
I spoke to this woman more than 100 times. We laughed about how hard some days were, about raising a tribe of strong women and how our husbands work far too hard each day. We talked about dwarfism- her youngest and my oldest both have achondroplasia and are just weeks apart in age, and community. There were tense moments where our beliefs overshadowed rational discussion, but we always came back together. The conversation wavering, but never our mutual respect.
And yet I made so many excuses to not make the commute to see her. To meet her girls. I never got to hug her and now all I want is to hold her babies… who are not babies, at all, but young women navigating a world that, now, doesn’t include their mother.
You can help support Eddie in this time of need – the burial of his wife, the medical bills for his injuries and raising three beautiful girls HERE.
This strikes me as unfair
And what is unfair you ask, but the definition of life? It’s another way of making an excuse for not fighting for what you want.
It’s knowing that you put something off until a tomorrow that will never come.
I chose poorly…
But that doesn’t have to remain. I have made peace with my poor choice. I have donated to the family and reached out to her widower. I’ve spent nights crying in the shower and composing myself just to cry all over again. I imagined the worst possible things… Dave not making it home after work. Or me, on a rare night with girl friends, never seeing my babies again. Them never getting to say goodbye.
I let my imagination run, and now it is time to stop.
Because Mondays are for resetting. For spending the days ahead executing the plan you’ve got in place, taking steps towards those goals, and forging the relationships and successes that you want to be present in your life.
My goal remains: helping others.
Tried and true as I’ve been to others, I am to myself. Pulled up by my bootstraps, I am determined to kick off the start of a new community of women banding together from across the country to share their experiences, build each other up, and work together to live with less stress. My days are already long, but not too long to make the connections I want to make.
I made a commitment and the only one standing in my way is myself. So shove-over, Chelley… I’m coming through! Balance & Sparkle starts tomorrow, a group supporting your health; mind, body and soul. This is my personal pep talk… What are you going to get started on today?