I get this question a lot (changing the noun as appropriate), and I even went live to talk a bit more about it a few weeks ago.
I figured the video is long, so I will keep this brief.
The talk
I’ve never had the talk, we’ve always just had dwarfism and achondroplasia as a part of the conversation in our home. The most important part of our discussions are not what anyone is, but what we have.
Adelaide has a beautiful smile, a smooth voice, beautiful gray eyes, long hair, a large vocabulary, a knack for finding patterns and creating rhymes, a love of reading.
And achondroplasia.
She is not any one thing… if we were to say what we are, it’s ever-changing. I have been a little girl, a gymnast, a girl scout. But I am more than one thing or another, I am a sum of all the things I have.
I have a handsome, loving husband, two beautiful children, a passion for helping others, a desire for organization, a home I love, blue eyes, the running bug. I am not just a wife, a mother, a coach… I am Chelley.
In this same way, Addie is Addie.
(And yes, Millie is Millie).
There is no one way to introduce something that isn’t typical into your family. In fact, there is no one way to do anything in life- you can only do the best you can with the information you have at hand. And you’re doing a great job!
My advice
Give your child the tools they need to define themselves. The knowledge of what they have… in time, they will decide, at that moment, who (or what) they are.
I’m so happy that you continue to write in this blog. Your posts inspire me, your readers, and I think everyone else like me that graduated with you from high school. I don’t have reason much to talk about Upper Moreland days, but your definitely one of the bright spots that I mention when I do.
Keep it up!!!
I think you are figuring it out wonderfully! My son is handsome, tall, knowledgeable, caring etc He is not schizophrenia. Every person is a multiple layered individual. The only people that will notice the difference are the young or ignorant. Keep being the best mommy to that cute girl and she will know it is just only of her many layers and be confident in herself.
That is such a beautiful way to say it. All we can do is give them the tools they need to earn the knowledge and wisdom that they need. Kids are fast learners and they understand quickly.
I love that you emphasized that we focus on what we have, not on what we are. Society can give us “labels” but that should not define us. Keep God in the center of our lives and everything will be okay. Your daughters are a blessing.
That is such a nice way to tell your daughter that she is. it is important that you simply help and teach them what they should know and learn. Nowadays, children can learn simple activities, they are fast-learner.
Wow you have a great and inspiring article..Your advice to this sensitive topic amaze me. You are awesome!
Great post! I think she will figure it out someday as she grew older. I really like the advise of giving her the tools to define herself. That’s the best tool a parent can give their children.