2018 kind of kicked my ass.
There isn’t much else that can explain the year. But what’s the use in rehashing it? Most important is to move past it. To move
FORWARD.
for·ward
/ˈfôrwərd/
onward so as to make progress; toward a successful conclusion.
Make progress.
What is my Legacy?
When I started in health and fitness, my goal was to lead myself and others into wellness. Mentally, physically. In relationships, both personal and in business. To walk with them on their journey. And so many walked with me and I with them… but somewhere I got lost.
And felt sick.
And in that cycle, I became unfit. Unwell. In mind and in body and in spirit.
The legacy of leadership and wellness began to slip away. I began to slip away. Everyone else came before me. I stopped waking up at 4:45am because I enjoyed that time for me. To run or ride or read or shower and have a hot cup of coffee alone. I started going to bed later and later; a habit I’d been so proud to break. I stopped tracking my water. My Monday and Wednesdays with my best friend’s WERQ class became optional. I missed her. My kickboxing classes became only those I taught and not those I took.
And what hurt the most: the words that were pent up in me stayed there. Simmering, smoldering, burning my insides into solid glass which broke in me and hurt to hide.
I stopped writing.
My goals of publishing were dashed.
In 2018.
Then there was this thing: a new year. And the same old resolutions came up.
Lose weight.
Drink more water.
Go to bed earlier.
Be more patient with the kids.
Save some money.
But that’s all bullshit.
It means nothing because none of those goals are tangible. What is weight? Not a indicator of wellness or fitness. It’s a number- ONE measurement in a slew of important numbers to consider. What is more? And earlier? And some? They are immeasurable words.
So this year I am moving forward from those.
I want to learn proper form to lift. And aim to dead lift 150 pounds by 2020.
Drinking at least 70oz of water a day.
Be in bed early enough to get 6 hours of sleep a night. (Dear Phone, You’re getting silenced. *GASP!*)
Allow myself time to shower and meditate each day to ensure I am more balanced for the kids to get the best me.
To save 10% of my income for immediate access (I already save a little in retirement). It is a very modest goal, but it is a place to start.
2019
I am coming for you. Not to challenge you- that was last year, and those 12 months proved their strength.
No. I am coming for you to work with you. To move forward towards a successful outcome. To have a year that is worth celebrating it’s occurrence, not drinking to its end. And to walk the path with you.
What’s your word? What are your goals?
Happy New Year,
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