Are we there yet? By there, I mean Wednesday… when Dave gets home from his business trip.
I feel so whiny about him being gone, but the worst part is he’s not in the US, so I can’t talk to him. He is in the UK… it sounds more glamorous than it is- he could be in Ohio and it would all look the same. There is no sight seeing, or time to go out. He goes from the airport to a hotel and to work and back and forth until the last day that he ends up going from Heathrow to Logan, back to his car and home to me! His hotels either have WiFi that costs £4 per 10 minutes, or it’s free and set up really poorly. Either way, he’s been gone since Saturday at 5 and I have yet to talk to him. What I am thankful for, however, are his parents who fed the remaining Cranston Martinka’s last night and sent me home with food for lunch, fresh fruit for the week and a bottle of pinot noir. Sometimes, when the hubby isn’t there, his parents step in for the win!
My usual dwarfism fact really isn’t so much fact as life this week. Many of my fellow humans have been thoughtfully (note: sarcastic) reading about the pickles (still) and sending some of the most vile emails I’ve ever read. I will never share intimate details about them on the blog, but I will respond to one reoccurring theme: “I’ll bet this lady didn’t care about the pickles before her baby was born that way.”
One: Don’t refer to Addie’s dwarfism as that way. It’s so ignorant sounding, I can’t imagine anyone wants to come off as that silly.
Two: I’ve always cared about pickles. They’re delicious.
Three: I never noticed the pickles before, and if I had- YOU’RE RIGHT! The naming on these jars didn’t strike a chord in me, which is why I understand when people tell me they don’t get it. Many often follow up that statement with, but as a parent, I support you. This is educating others, creating conversation, and the more I have shared the m-word and its history and the pain, the more response I am getting- in the positive.
And so, to respond to that… I guess all I can say is: you’re right. Before I was personally effected by dwarfism in my family, I didn’t have the same passion I do now. In the same way that many men don’t care about the fact that many heart medications cause erectile dysfunction and the medications used to treat ED are unsafe for men with heart conditions, until they’re in that place in life. Guess what: I don’t understand why you’re so upset about those medical issues. I’d prefer to live than to get a boner- but hey, that’s just me. I don’t mock, criticize or threaten anyone who has sued, written or otherwise addressed this issue. My point is, evolution happens as time goes on (duh!). When one person is effected by something, whether at birth or 30 years down the road. Whether it’s something they’ve always been passionate about, or they just recently became involved with. Life happens when we’re busy living it- all we can do is try to improve each step and make sure our feet are on solid ground- this is what I am trying to provide for Addie. I want to lay a more solid path for her.
I went into this blindly. Pathetic, I know, but it’s kind of how I fell into Addie’s diagnosis. I have been trying to write about this exact topic. I’m just learning to see and trying to help guide other parents, if that makes sense. In the end, I just want people to know that many POLP (parents of little people) are in this alone, or lonely, at least. Eighty percent of us have no experience in our own families of having a LP in our lives. We aren’t sure of the medical implications, the social interactions that will occur, or how to best protect our kids. We are doing the best we can- just as most parents are. If this whole situation still seems to be just about pickles, I invite you to come back to the blog in a few weeks when I begin the series about name changes. From hotdogs to lacrosse teams- this is a movement. I invite you to join, or honestly, get the heck out of my way.
And my random of the week:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!
Yesterday my Dad would have been 64. I tried to hold it all together, but around 11pm when I rolled over and Dave wasn’t there, I let a few tears fall on his pillow. Today, I woke up smiling. I have a beautiful Mom who celebrates her day today! She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met- or could ever meet. She is strong and resilient. She gives herself day-in and day-out to her patients (she’s a family psychologist), and then answers her cell phone when she’s not in session to counsel my sister, two brothers and myself in our daily lives.
I know I mentioned in a previous post that when I grew up I wanted to be me… I also hope to, in part, be my Mom. <3
We could be sisters!
Happy Monday, Reader!
Thank you, Sweetheart! It’s a stormy day here, but Passover is always a wonderful day….so happy Passover to family and friends…loved ones missing at the table will be remembered tonight. And, Happy Birthday to me!
First off Happy Bday to your mom!!! I hope your hubby gets home soon and you have lots of good times this weekend!!! And I agree that is ignorant sounding. Xo
Happy Birthday to your beautiful, beautiful Mom! Your post is thought provoking, and I began to think about things I didn’t think about until I had to think about them. Make sense? Things like blindness, depression, cancer, homosexuality, alcoholism, drug addiction, watching my beautiful Mom age right before my eyes. I look to sources, to books, to PEOPLE to understand, to help, to address these things. You write, “This is educating others, creating conversation… ” Without the passion and experience and teaching of those who know and understand, where would we all be? I don’t get the vile, angry, vicious people. Do they just not want to listen, to learn? What has happened in their lives to make them shut themselves up in hatred, hatred that seeps out in their words? I have learned so much from you… about Addie, about life, about passion, about motherhood, about dwarfism, about love, about people and their freakin’ pickles. Keep writing, please…
Awww! Happy Birthday to your momma! Hope she has a great day!
Happy birthday to your mom! And, WELL SAID with everything else. I know it’s so hard to have to read all the vile messages and I know it’s impossible, as a human, to pretend it doesn’t bring you down in any way, but you are doing such a great job at standing up for your passions and beliefs and responding to these haters in the most respectable way. You, my friend, are a stellar role model for you sweet little girl, whom will never grow up to be ugly and vile like some of these other unfortunate souls. Just keep doing your thing! You’re rocking it. Apparently, your mom rocked it, too. 🙂
Happy birthday to your mom!!! As for the the nasty people who clearly have no heart or soul, or are too stupid to figure out that this is about far more than pickles — while I can’t say ‘just ignore them,’ because that’s impossible, I can say that you are an amazing mama doing so many wonderful things to protect your daughter and to help educate people about achondroplasia and life as a POLP. Keep going girl!!!
Wishing your mom a happy birthday! And hope the next few days while Dave is gone flies by. My husband travels for work a lot too, so I have an idea how challenging it can be. Nothing like having to “be on” 24/7 when you’re the only parent at home.
Happy, Happy Birthday to your mom! I’m so sorry to hear you’re still receiving emails like that. 🙁 People can be so ignorant. As for the travelling husband, I will be dealing with that situation very soon, which will be a very new thing for our family. But knowing that others make it through will help. Hoping Wednesday comes soon for you 🙂
Happy Birthday to your mom! I hope Wednesday comes quick. My husband went to Seattle for 10 days a few years ago and I was home with all 3 kids, I feel your pain.
I love your attitude. If people think their pathetic, cowardly anonymous emails are going to stop your movement, they have another thing coming! Happy Birthday to your mom. You are both beautiful!
Love the shout out to your Mom…and especially how you acknowledged that as much as you wanted to be YOU, you also wanted to be a little her. 🙂 I hope our daughters feel that way when they grow up.
I know I say it repeatedly, but I give you endless props for patiently tolerating the ignorance of others. It’s one thing to disagree, it’s another to disrespect.
That is a beautiful picture of you and your mom!!!
I can’t believe people are a) still sending you emails; b) sending you emails that say “I bet you didn’t care about pickles before.” Well, usually, until someone is in a situation, it’s true! They don’t notice ignorance around them! It’s just how we are, it isn’t right or wrong, it is just that way. People are so stupid. Keep fighting the good fight, we got your back!! 😉
And I completely understand about husband’s being away. Mine just got back from a week long trip too. And it’s going to be a monthly thing for the foreseeable future! When he’s gone, my son and I stay at my parents’ house. I work full time, and getting my son ready, and I ready, and out the door to meet my dad (my parents take care of my son while we work) and get to work on time? Yeah. Impossible. So we stay there to reduce the whole running around like a chicken with my head cut off thing. 😉 Having support of parents and in laws really helps. At least a bit.
Happy Birthday to your lovely mom 🙂
I’m still so proud of you for helping educate others in a kind and factual way. My older sister has a severe disability, and I still have to remind friends to be wiser with their language.