There are lot of things we worry about as parents everyday… when you have a child with a difference or special needs, there are other things beyond the usual suspects that wrack our brains, pull on our heart strings and force us into some sort of judgement about ourselves that we don’t deserve, but can’t help but endure. Then there are those things about our child’s difference that make us joyful.
I have a friend with a young son who is autistic. He doesn’t like to be hugged or make eye contact, he will touch fingers with you but not shake your hand or give you a high-five… but he can play almost any piece on the piano if he has the music in front of him, without practice, perfectly. On the days when everything seems to be falling apart, my friend points to the grand piano she got at an estate sale 4 years ago, and her son plays her soul into a calm state. We don’t get to talk much- she is in Arizona with 3 kids- but when I see a picture that she (rarely) posts, it brings me so much joy to see what the lens captures. Her kids in the sand, playing at the zoo, first days of school, last days of summer, and solo concerts from her only musical child, consisting of everything from Billy Joel to Bach.
In fact she just posted one of the pics yesterday. It made me think… even though I have a few hard days, there are A LOT of things that bring me back to center… and most of them are not Earth-shattering, they’re the little things that can go overlooked if I don’t slow down a bit and take them in.
On the days where I cannot seem to get a hold of anyone to explain a bill, or what a certain test revealed, they seem endless and unrewarding- except for the child I perform these tasks for… but most days, I feel so blessed to have such a joyful baby. Playgrounds are still not the best thing for us: skinned knees on wood chips that are, sadly, not edible, and the lack of small toys makes most trips, truthfully, not fun. Most “play zones” are geared to younger kids who don’t have many motor skills, or older kids who do… not the older kids who just don’t have it, yet- Addie gets frustrated and trampled, so we stay away from those places, too. We play in parks, in the grass with toys. We climb over rolling hills and make our way to random swing sets. And, one of the neatest things I’ve experienced as a mom so far: we do all of these things in last year’s wardrobe.
Some days are really hard- no matter who your child is- and it’s nice to remember it’s the trivial things in life that can bring us the most happiness, the biggest belly laughs and the deepest sighs of relief. When I can’t see much through the clouds in my head, I can see this: Addie is growing, making leaps and bounds, and showing us all: She is fierce (and adorable)!
We hear you, loud and clear. Hugs.
You are a combination of souls of poets, artists, seers… and have been chosen to pass along the wisdom of the ages. Beautiful, beautiful post… xo
Thank you! It’s been a rough few weeks, but seeing this baby girl smile makes it all OK… plus, how cool she gets to pull out last year’s clothes and revamp the styles (just like me!) 🙂
So very true – holding on to those small things, the precious giggles, the triumphs – is so important, and easy to lose in the midst of challenges and struggles. Good grief I just want to eat her up in that last photo — look at that happy smile!!!
She is edible 🙂
We ALL have our struggles, and we definitely need to hold on to all the smiles and belly laughs!! Those are what gets us through!
So true! Without all those laughs, there would be a whole ‘lotta tears!
I love reading your posts. You write with such passion and conviction and beauty. We all need to find that center that brings us back when things are about to lose control. And we make it work in the best way we know how. You are an incredible mom to a very lucky and beautiful little girl. 🙂
I just hope my best is the best (for Addie!). 🙂
This is a great post. And that picture of Addie at the end is precious! Thanks for sharing so authentically. It comes through!
I love reading your posts because it reminds me of what’s important – belly laughs and the grass tickling our toes when we play outside. I’ve said it before but Addie is one lucky girl 🙂
It is so important to just let everything go and just enjoy those simple moments in life. Addie is lucky to have an amazing mom!
She is so cute I can’t even take it. And yep. The simple things. So true. xo
I will never ever get tired of looking at photos of your sweet girl — she is the cutest lady ever! And I love your posts, your attitude and your Mom reflections. Keep sharing your journey — we all love it and you !!!!
Read this after having a meltdown after other parents complained about their kids being “so difficult” to fit into a size because they are so tall and thin. Ran into a woe is me kind of mood. Thank you for reminding me that fitting into last year’s clothes is a good thing!
I feel that way A LOT, Sandy. Then I remember those issues myself (I was tall and grew very fast). I try to take a deep breath. It’s not always easy, but I keep pictures of Addie in clothes from a year ago and the same ones this year. Always makes me smile <3 I'm glad that this post brought you some comfort- it's a great thing our babies still fit in last year's stuff- more money to save for college 🙂