Second in my doula series is Jessica Fuss. When I met Jess, it was at a DoRI event, and I fell in love with her. She’s like a big sister, mother and best friend all in one. Although Jess had another client when I was due with Addie, we remained in touch, and she is still one of my biggest supporters in motherhood! From her beaming smile to her incredible knowledge in all things birth, cloth diapering and motherhood, Jess is such a super-woman! I asked her a bunch of questions, and wanted to share her thoughts with you and a bit more about her doula services at Soft Touch Doula.
To be a doula to me means to take care of a woman…To find out what her needs, her desires, her likes and dislikes, her wishes are…then to do my best to surround her with so much nurturing love that she feels protected and safe to be whomever she needs to be in order to birth her baby in the best way for HER.It also means for me to provide enough information and assurance to the partner so that I can take away all of his/her fears and worries so they can just be the partner and provide the support they have always wanted to be.
My niche is Birth. I’ve heard it say I’m very good at being that doula who “mothers the mother”. I’m very nurturing. It chose to be purely a Birth Doula (not a postpartum as well) because it just fits. I have always wanted to have ‘something’ to do with birth, ever since I was a little girl and read my mom’s Lamaze books. When I found out about the role of a birth doula, where I get to purely support and care for the couple, and not to have to do any of the medical care, I knew it was for me.
Back in 2012 I stopped counting at 100 births attended. I’m sure I’m up to somewhere around 150.
Ahhhhhh… 🙂 My favorite moment. My favorite moment is special to me. It’s when I see by the woman’s soft face, hear by her orgasmic sounds, can tell by her loose body, that she has truly given over to the Birth process. She has surrendered to the intensity. There’s no more fighting the surges. She is now purely allowing her body to flow and open. If one was in the next room and didn’t know what was going on, it would sound like she is having a wonderful orgasm. But in reality, the sounds a woman makes at this precious moment in her labor is exactly the same.
5. Hardest part of your work?
The hardest part of this job is most definitely for me the anxiety involved. There is anxiety of not knowing when each momma will go into labor. I am pretty much always on-call. And when that momma does go into labor, who will be available to watch my kiddos. It’s the unknown that is very stressful. And the anxiety also carries over into the birth itself in not knowing how short or long the labor will be.
I think the most rewarding part of being a doula, for me, is knowing that something simple I might have done, (for instance helping her get through that “wall” that often comes up during transition when she often cries “I can’t do it any longer”, but in reality she’s almost done!) and it has helped to completely change the outcome for that woman’s birth…That simple act of support and encouragement helped her to achieve her goals for her birth. When I leave after the birth, I quietly smile and know in my heart that I did a good job.
Empowering, tiring, amazing, overwhelming, fulfilling, glorious, momentous.
Southern MA, Eastern/southeastern CT, all of RI.
9. Your hope for the future of your profession?
My hope is that the Insurance Companies will recognize the role of a doula as incredibly beneficial in that it reduces the need for SO many interventions that cost them money. I wish for Moms and Dads that the services we provide could be universally covered by their insurance companies.
I love how doulas know they are awesome, but give all the credit to mamas! Raising a child takes a village, but birthing a child is totally teamwork (at least for me!). You can contact Jess HERE, and get to know more about this amazing woman!
What was the most amazing or helpful part of your birth experience?
That’s a really cool interview. At the time I was pregnant, I didn’t even really realize there were other options.
I am so glad that I had friends to share the knowledge. I wish there was more information out there- I think docs should share info about doulas, too!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Doulas are so amazing. They serve such an important role in women’s birth experiences.
Paula @ FrostedFingers recently posted…Lillypots for Baby Food
YES!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Great insight, my niece just hired her first!
That’s so great!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
When I gave birth to my first I didn’t realize there were other options. For my second one I had a mid-wife and my regular doctor. {happened by fluke, not planned}. I have recently learned a lot about doulas from a close friend of mine that is one. She loves what she does even though I know it is challenging.
MommaDJane recently posted…7 Tips for Planning a Greece Staycation
It is a challenging career, for sure!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I lover her answer to her favourite moment of birth.
Nolie recently posted…You Can Dress Us Up But You Can’t Take Us Out
Yes! Me too. She’s amazing.
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
This is a great interview. I agree that at some point doulas should be covered by insurance. I have never had one but I know others that swear by them.
Marina @ Mommy Snippets recently posted…When you marry your best friend… {#SparkleWithDASANI}
I do! And I wish that they were taken into account for better birth outcomes. Insurance is so crazy sometime!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I never had a doula, because they weren’t really a thing when I was having kids. I think they’re a great addition to your maternity team though!
They really are! I feel very blessed to have a team supporting me- I love my doc, but they aren’t there for the most part and nurses can be so hit or miss!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I love the idea of a doula. I think it would be such a neat experience to help babies come into the world.
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I cannot imagine having the job- what a magical experience to have at work!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Wow, this is so cool because she is actually local to me. I had no idea of her services though, but probably would have considered her had I known.
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That’s so cool! I hope more people find out about doula services- I know they are still not well-known, but so important!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
When I had my kids, I did not know very much about doulas. Thanks for sharing such a great interview.
It’s hard because doulas are not as well known as other birth-assistance methods, or classes, but I hope that changes in the near future!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I’ve never heard of a doula before. It’s such an interesting idea. Sort of like a modern day midwife.
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YES! I can’t have a midwife because I am high risk, but being able to have the love and focus of a doula made my first birth an amazing experience!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
My sister could certainly have used a doula during her pregnancy and birth. The pregnancy was pretty easy on her, but the birth itself was difficult.
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Oh no. I love being pregnant, but I know that my first labor would not have ended in natural childbirth without the support of my doulas.
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Why oh WHY didn’t I know about this when I was pregnant?! It’s an amazing concept to have someone around who knows how to make a mother feel calm and comfortable through the birth process.
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It was invaluable to me during birth. I wish more people knew about doula services!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
great insights, indeed. doulas can be such a wonderful presence and help to families!
Yes they are!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
This was an amazing interview. I didn’t work with a doula and had no idea what they really do. The birth experience she described sounds much more pleasant than my 2 C-sections!
Dede recently posted…Taking SAM to Dollywood — packing the essentials
Many doulas actually work with moms getting c-sections, too. They are there to support no matter what path we choose (or have to take!).
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Love that there are so many options avialable to expectant mothers nowadays.
Indeed!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I think having a doula would have been very helpful for me. When my daughter was born, the hospital staff were very nice but everything they did was dictated by the “procedure” they were required to follow. It was a cold experience.
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That is awful. So many “rules” in hospitals can override the natural process of birth.
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
What dedication she has, and I love how fulfilled it seems to make her.
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I know Jess LIVES for her mamas and their babes.
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I didn’t even know about Doulas when I was pregnant! She sounds lovely too!
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It’s hard because they’re not as talked about as other birth-assistance methods. I hope that changes the more we get the conversations going!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
This is such a wonderful interview! She sounds so dedicated! It’s great women have this option more now!
It really is! And she’s WONDERFUL!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
This is so sweet. I wish I had one when I gave birth.
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I hope you still had a wonderful birth experience(s)!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
What great information. I never had a doula, all 5 of my kids were c-sections.
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You are such a rockstar! The most important thing is that your babes are all here- five seems like such a beautiful number. I love big families! Doulas help with c-section mamas, too- if you ever ho for a 6th!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
Wow this is so very sweet. Motherhood is such a special time.
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It really is!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
I love my OB, he knows me very well and made childbirth the best experience I believe it could be.
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That’s awesome! I wish my OB was with me during my whole labor- she’s amazing!
martinkadelux recently posted…On being a special needs parent…
This is amazing. I really hope to have a Doula for our next birth. Thank you for sharing this!
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I hope you can have one, too!
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