With Millie’s arrival just 2 months away, the excitement in the house is palpable! While you can never be fully prepared for a child (NO KIDDING, ADDIE!), there are ways we can try. For adults it’s parenting classes, and books and groups… and for the toddlers in our lives, there’s these 5 tricks:
1. Tummy time
Bet you thought tummy time ended at some point? This time, it’s for you! Each day, take some time with your child to watch your soon-to-be kick, feel them, talk to them- whatever! As your body changes, talk about it- “mommy’s tummy is so big because your baby brother/sister is growing big, too!” Look at pictures of when you were pregnant with your current child(ren), and use the time to bond- often daddy gets in on the time and we all watch and giggle as my Millie dances in response to all the touch and talk, and all the attention on mama and baby! It’s pretty darn cool- especially when Addie helps put lotion on my belly!
2. Books/Classes
We have taken out a lot of books about being a big sister, waiting for baby, about bringing baby home- you name it. I let our library lead us, walking in and asking what books they have about being a big sibling. I got about 15 choices off the bat and we looked through them all and have taken a lot out in different trips. Addie loves reading about babies and telling me about how they cry, but it’s ok, and she pretends to soothe her dolls and put them to sleep… all things that I feel will make her not only prepared to help, but not be alarmed when Millie cries for things.
We’re also very lucky that our hospital offers a sibling class! Addie will take a class (with us there) where she will learn about babies, get a t-shirt and see the place where Millie will be born- and the class is about 1/8 of the price and time of adult classes! How cool!
3. Let the chores begin… NOW!
I keep reading that when another baby comes along, we, as parents, often want our older kids to do things that (maybe) we didn’t expect them to do before. So… I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would need Addie to do for herself if my hands were full or if I was just caught up at the moment and asked her to do them for herself before Millie comes- I hope this will help her not feel like it’s because of, but rather in preparation for, being a big sister. I’ve asked her to get the book she wants to read, grab me a diaper for changing, master the stairs, carry her own “wants” out of the house- like Elmo or her water bottle, open the drawer in the fridge where her snacks are (cheese, already washed fruit and prepped cups of milk), find her coloring books and crayons, throw her own trash away… Obviously, the age of your child determines these activities! While most of the time I can help with these tasks now, I make a point not to- which has taught her to say, “no mama, you do it.” It’s a little struggle, but adding the phrase, “But you’re such a big girl! Show me how you do it!” has worked wonders!
4. Talk it up… but be honest
Being a big sister is awesome- I know because I have some pretty amazing younger siblings- but it’s also overwhelming for everyone. Babies cry. Babies puke. Babies smell sour (sometimes). Babies love water. Babies hate baths. Babies are awake all the time, but somehow also always sleeping. And… well… babies are kind of boring. So while being a big sister is a BIG responsibility for Addie- to love, help care for- it’s also a time that may confuse and upset her. Dave and I often hear babies cry when we’re out with Addie and when she points it out and starts to sympathy whine, we are quick to remind her that babies do cry a lot and maybe that baby needs a big sister to make them laugh. This usually makes her smile and try to look and find where the crying baby is. She’s great with gentle hands, but is a bit much on the personal space- and loves to kiss… everyone. So again, we’re honest and remind her that loving on babies is so nice, but we need to stop when mommy or daddy says. Being open about bringing a baby home (you won’t have a new playmate for a few months) while still exciting is sometimes confusing for everyone (Yay, new baby! Yay, no sleep?)- but it can be done. And if all else fails, you’ll have a toddler who says things like, “Babies are small. Yeah. And they crying.” …to total strangers. Parents-0 Logic of a toddler-1
5. Carve time out for just you and your other child(ren)
When other kids come along, time alone (hello shower, it’s been a while since we’ve been alone in the same room together) is hard to come by any time of day- not to mention the prospect of actually scheduling something, but, like doctors appointments we would never miss, planning specific time to be one-on-one with your other child(ren) is important- for them and you! For weekends- when Dave is home- we plan on taking Addie on small trips so that we can both get time with her and I can still nurse. Making a list of things to do together with Millie, individual with Addie, with both of us and Addie, and with just Millie are all things to consider… oh yeah, and us alone!
Suggestions? Neighborhood events, naptime stories, library activities (where other parents can help you out) and family outings close to home- so if one child needs to leave, coming back to pick up the other parent/child is simple are all on our radar. While being apart isn’t the goal, focusing on age-specific activities, as well as bonding time with baby are important. For us, making a schedule so we know our options, but also being comfortable that things may not work out is key. For this reason, we aren’t planning anything where we need to buy tickets or talking about big activities until we’re ready to go (who wants to disappoint about a trip to the zoo that can’t happen?).
And us? We have neither the money nor desire to go out, but Dave and I love having dates at home. A nice glass of wine and a movie in bed where we talk through the whole thing about different things he’s read and what our next house will have… that’s the perfect night- and we always find time for those.
For more ideas, check out this spread sheet of what we will be doing (the first 3 months) and make your own version to help you plan for the whole family! While grocery trips, Addie’s classes and even peeing would be more fun to do alone, sometimes Millie will have to come along for the ride (and I’ll just have to have an audience).
How did you prepare your children for a new arrival?
These are great tips! When our daughter came; I was really worried about how our boys would handle it. My youngest son was 5. He’d been the spoiled baby for 5 years. I didn’t want him resenting his sister. We did a lot of talking about the new baby. I let them be involved in every bit of the preparation; like setting up the room. Helping to pick out toys. Helping to pick out clothes. We used a lot of books that were on the topic of babies and new babies coming home, etc. We emphasized that the new baby was “THEIR” baby sister. SO they had some ownership on her. I couldn’t have wished for it to go better than it did. From day 1 both boys have been protective and loving for their sister. Even now; almost 5 years later they still don’t fight with her. They adore her and spoil her (which is good and bad sometimes). Preparing the older siblings beforehand makes a big difference once baby arrives.
Amber Edwards recently posted…Parenting Rant: You’re doing it wrong.
That is awesome! My sister is 7 years older than me and I think she still resents me sometimes 😉
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
My oldest was 3 when my second was born, so we did A LOT of talking about it. I tried to get him as involved in setting up the nursery as I could, too.
Yes! That’s a great one, too! We are FINALLY getting paint on the walls, and Addie will help us organize her old clothes- I’m so excited!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are such great tips. Having a new sibling can be traumatic for little ones but these tips will certainly help them get ready, and hopefully excited!
Paula @ FrostedFingers recently posted…Planes: Fire and Rescue
Thank you- I hope she stays excited!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
What great tips. Best of Luck to you. We did this with our daughters and it helps so much to take the pressure off. Your child will know what to expect. Just relax and enjoy this time. When the baby does come it will take up so much time that the end of your pregnancy should be just quality time with your first daughter 🙂
Laura (Another Cent Saved) recently posted…Rollors Game Review and Giveaway ends 8/7
So true!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are some really great tips! It can be really hard for and child to adjust to a new child in the home!
I think it’s going to be a learning process for us all, for sure!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Tummy time seems like a great idea. My daughter took a class about being a big sister when her little brother was about to be born. She doesn’t remember it, but she does remember getting to wear scrubs.
Addie’s class is in a few weeks- she’s pretty excited for it!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
How old is Addie? My daughter turned 5 the day after my son was born. She was (and still is) such a HUGE help to me. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her.
Dede recently posted…Attention nursing moms – FREE reusable pads
She’s 27 months… I hope she’s a big helper!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Great tips. I let them help get ready for baby… I allowed them to help choose bedding, outfits, colors, toys, books… and when the baby came I allowed them to show the new baby all of the new things. It was so sweet.
We’re passing to much stuff down, that Addie is going to help organize- we didn’t get much new! Poor second kid!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
When my sister was expecting her second baby, she talked about it a lot with her son. She really built up the whole “big brother” thing. It worked like a charm.
Jennifer recently posted…Frozen Foods Help Me with Portion Control
That’s awesome- Addie LOVES telling everyone she’s a big sister now. So cute!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
I used many of these suggestions when I was having my second child. When I had my third is sort if just got easier.
Amy D recently posted…How to Save Money On Gas! Join the Fuel Rewards Network™ Program!
I hope we have 3… and that easier is a word I can relearn the meaning of! 😉
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are all fabulous tips! I love one-on-one tip with each child. It really can make all the difference in reassuring them.
Kristen @ My 3 Little Kittens recently posted…Summer Hair Survival Kit Giveaway #PGMom
I hope so! I want each child to have individual and group relationships with the family- that was SO important to me as a kid.
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are all great tips! Preparing any child for the birth of another can be difficult.
Marina @ Mommy Snippets recently posted…25 SeaWorld San Antonio Insider Tips
I hope it helps us adjust for the big arrival!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
I like the idea of tummy time with a toddler and a belly. Cute ideas.
Tiffany (Fabulous Mom Blog) recently posted…Let’s wrap up the week
Thank you! It’s so fun to see how different Dave is with the belly this time- he talks to her more… and how much Addie loves to touch and poke and try to see her sister moving in there!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are great tips, and I couldn’t have written it better myself. Wow! 2 months!? How exciting!!!
Thank you, Shell. I CAN’T believe we’re so down to the wire already! Seems like we were just talking about having another!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Such good tips! I never thought about the continued tummy time! What a great way to connect!
Meagan recently posted…Fresh Basil Limeade
Thanks, Meagan!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Great tips for any one expecting their second child!!! Congratulations on your pregnancy, I bet your daughter is excited to about being a big sister!!
tammileetips recently posted…5 Tips for maximizing space in a small bathroom
She is… I just hope she stays that way!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Congratulations on your soon-to-be new arrival! Thank you for the great tips. I will be needing these in the future.
Mindy Grant recently posted…The Benefits of Stocking Up on Your Favorite Frozen Foods
Can’t ever be too prepared for another arrival!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
we did a lot of your suggestions when we welcomed baby #2. we are still finding our groove some days more than others.
candice recently posted…Carvel Now Serving NUTELLA Ice Cream!
I think life is like that… our groove is always being found in this house! 🙂
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Oh I have been there several times! Books help and letting them go to the ultrasounds are good too so they can see their sibling.
Mama to 5 BLessings recently posted…Building With Food (Learn & Link With Linky)
You are an expert! Yes! I love that u/s are done on big screens now so she can see!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Mine were 5 years a part, so I didnt have that issue. Those are great tips.
Tess recently posted…Healthy Apple Pie Smoothie + a Giveaway
Oh man. My sister needed prepping (she’s 7 years older)… and she still needs it, I think 😉
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
Great tips! The books really helped my son. He’s such a book fan. That and being able to help make choices for the baby. Good Luck mama!!
Emily recently posted…Bluum Subscription Box | 19 Month Old Boy
I love little bookworms! 🙂
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves
These are definitely great tips. It’s great that the soon-to-be-big-sister is being prepared!
I just hope that she’s as ready as she seems… although I guess you can never be totally prepared for a baby!
martinkadelux recently posted…All day, overnight and in between… 10 Must-haves