Bengals coach Marvin Lewis has apologized TWICE for referring to Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel as a midget… but here’s the thing, I’m not sorry. His apologies have more to do with PR than actual sorrow. Maybe Lewis believes that he is in the right. That if he meant nothing by it, then it’s OK. Perhaps he feels that if it wasn’t actually directed at someone with dwarfism than it’s not offensive. But it is. And though he’s sorry. I’m not. I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry that Lewis gave himself the opportunity to “read up” on dwarfism. While I am aware of the social media implications, I also know that his word to “learn from this” is true. He may not get it anymore than he did 24 hours ago, but he does feel bad. He is sorry that he screwed up. He’s sorry that his coaching career is marred by this event. He’s sorry, and while he may not care any more or less about the dwarfism community, he will certainly think twice before he says “midget” again. And I’m not sorry he learned that lesson.
This is the face of not sorry.
To Coach Lewis,
I’m not sorry that YOU chose an offensive word.
I’m NOT sorry that it doesn’t offend you.
I’m NOT sorry that you didn’t mean anything by it.
Because you did.
You meant to insult.
You meant to demean.
You meant to mock.
You meant it.
Thank you for the opportunity to raise awareness.
Thank you for bumbling your sorrows, for they’ve given me the chance to educate.
Here is the opportunity for those who claim I didn’t know it was offensive, to buck up. To realize when you use a word to mock or hurt someone it is knowing.
You know now.
And I’m not sorry.
P.S. Coach Lewis, You can donate HERE to the LPA and continue their efforts to educate!
Is he REALLY sorry, or was he forced to apologize by all the PR people whose jaws dropped when he said it. I hope he learned something from his huge mistake.
Exactly! I’m thankful for the opportunity to EDUCATE!!!
martinkadelux recently posted…Guess what? I’m NOT sorry!
That’s exactly what I was about to say!
Nancy recently posted…Buy flowers for your girl
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Some people have no remorse. I think that Lewis is one of those people.
Libby’s Library recently posted…Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart, by Trista Sutter – Review and Giveaway
You have put a good spin on this: the opportunity to educate and raise awareness! I find that people often just are ignorant when inappropriate or incorrect comments are made. I appreciate you for taking a stand and sharing this post.
Cathy @ Our Mini Family recently posted…Tis the Season! Giveaway Hop
You know what the amazing thing is? Many times people mean to demean the person they’re talking about without ever thinking that if it demeans that person, it probably demeans the referenced race/group/etc. Which blows my mind.
Myrah – Coupon Mamacita recently posted…Do You “HOLA”? Enter the #SpreadSomeHola Gain Gift Basket Giveaway!
That’s such a great point!!!
martinkadelux recently posted…Guess what? I’m NOT sorry!
Hopefully more people who are uneducated can visit your site and learn more about Addie, and why that word is offensive. Some people are so ignorant.
Yes! I think what boils my blood is the idea that “I didn’t know”. Yet they’ve said something they meant to mock or demean. So they DID know- maybe not the extent, but they knew!
martinkadelux recently posted…Guess what? I’m NOT sorry!
Mama bear is charging! Get him, Chelley! Seriously, this was a really great post. =D
Dawn recently posted…4 Ingredient Parmesan Crusted Chicken Recipe with Hellmann’s Mayonnaise
That was a really horrible thing he said. I hope he comes around to truly realize how hurtful he can be.
Liz Mays recently posted…Pumpkin Dumpkin Cake with Creamy Cheesecake Pudding Topping
FANTASTIC post! Probably my favourite of the day. With a sister who is special needs, I face this battle with the dreaded ‘R’ word every day. It’s a constant battle to educate people that their words do mean something, regardless if it was intentional or not.
Thanks for such a thoughtful article.
Michelle Webber recently posted…Confessions of an Over-Packer: The Non-Negotiables in my Bag
People do not think before they speak! Ugh it blows my mind how ignorant people can be. You keep doing what you are doing, educate girl! BTW Addie looks adorable in that pic!
Jenn recently posted…How To Take Care Of You Kids When You Are Suffering From Morning Sickness
It’s really a shame that some people have to demean others to feel superior in some way. Great post.
Melissa Pezza recently posted…Tips For Training for your First Half Marathon!
This is such a powerful post. I haven’t heard about this before but wow! I hope he has learned from his mistakes.
Melissa recently posted…How to Create a Media Kit For Your Blog
As awful as it is that people day things that hurt others, at least he and hopefully others now realize that it is offense and will think twice.
Debi recently posted…Spread Some Holiday Joy- Quick and Easy Christmas Craft
Great Post! A lot of people need to be educated on what is and isn’t appropriate to say so hopefully some people who might not have known better will get the message
Nothing is worse than a forced apology!
Megan @ All That Glitters recently posted…The Creative Closet: Lady In Red
It sounds more like he was forced to say it and most people in those situations aint actually sorry just say it for the sake of it
Myrabev recently posted…Week 55: Personal Confessions ~ It’s never too late just start
Some people say such stupid things without thinking. I love how you look at the positive and are using this as a means to educate people.
Real Talk Moms recently posted…4 Ways Retailers Manipulate your Senses
I had not heard about this, because I am not really up-to-date on current events. That said, she is beautiful!
Whitney @ It’s Gravy, Baby! recently posted…Brynlee // month eleven
Too many times, public figures say rude and insensitive things only to turn around and apologize. Unfortunately, their apologies are rarely heartfelt and are more a way to save face. Good for you for calling him out on this.
Chrissy recently posted…Christmas Treat: Chocolate Lollipops
There are way too many people who apologize just to look good. I especially don’t care for apologies that have “IF I hurt your feelings” in them. What do you mean if? If you don’t understand that you hurt my feelings, then why bother apologizing at all?
Dawn McAlexander recently posted…Easy & Frugal DIY Snowflake Votives #sponsored
People can be so mean. I am not sure why some people find the things funny that they do.
Stacey – Travel Blogger recently posted…Goodbye Dirt on Stainless Steel and Granite #MeisterCleaners #Giveaway
People definitely speak before they think, WAY TOO OFTEN!! Ugh.
mandy @ a sorta fairytale recently posted…Choosing Athletic Shoes
Yes! This happens all too often where the “PR” front is put up and excuses are made. It doesn’t change who the person really is inside.
That is such an adorable picture, I love it!
mykidsguide recently posted…Countdown to Midnight with Fun New Year’s Crafts for Kids
Unfortunately I wasn’t aware of this situation and have no idea of the background of it – plus no idea who the people are! But, if someone is aware of something about a person and then uses that against them – it’s not ok!
Btw, that picture is just gorgeous!
Katie <3
Katie Matthews recently posted…Festive Face Masks
Sometimes I think people just say whatever they want and don’t think about it. This is exactly the point, they can be beyond offensive and hurtful and they overlook it when the rest of us drop our jaws!!! Good for you for writing this!!!! And that picture is so cute, she always makes me smile when I see her face!!!
Kelsey Apley recently posted…Staples: Lil’ Rider Wiggle Ride-on Car $29.99 (reg. $70)
Good for you and I agree! Happy you spoke up!
Tammi @ My Organized Chaos recently posted…Rocky Mountain Soap Company – Sugar Plum
Some people should just not talk, you know? He’s the idiot for being so uneducated. And he thinks he’s a role model? No way!
Kathleen recently posted…What Lesson Can Your Children Learn from Rudolph? #ShineBright
People really don’t get their actions sometimes. I’m glad its helping raise awareness though, sucks that it has to be in such a hurtful way.
Heather recently posted…Yummy Treats and Peter Pan Live on Wordless Wednesday
That is an insensitive thing to have said. Your little ballerina is so adorable too 🙂
posh recently posted…Have you tried Maverick Royal Riviera Pears?
Awww… coaches… I played sports my entire life and you would not believe how coaches refer and sometimes ridicule kids… if you are too skinny, if you are overweight… Glad you are putting this out there ;o)
Yaitza recently posted…Local Weekend Fun!
I didn’t even know that he said this! Wow! I’m shocked!
Lisa recently posted…Wyndham Rewards Giveaway
Get him mama! Your daughter is so adorable:)
Good for you for not being sorry! He is a jackass and ignorant and your daughter is just precious!
Kelly Hutchinson recently posted…Five Food Hacks To Defrazzle Your Holiday #FarmRichHacks
Your little girl is adorable! Keep standing up for what you believe in!
Melanie K. recently posted…NeatConnect Cloud Scanner Giveaway
I didn’t know he said it. I haven’t followed sports news lately (ugh, I miss it). Something good usually comes out of everything though, like you mentioned here w/the awareness factor.
I’m clapping silently, because I am at work!!! But LOVEEEEEEEEEEE this post. You are so absolutely right about these points. No excuses for ignorance.
Thrifting Diva
http://www.thriftingdiva.com
Hm, unfortunately I don’t follow sports too well so I don’t know the situation to comment on it, buuuut… that photo of your daughter is so precious and adorable!! <3 I think if anyone was in a bad/argumentative mood, if they were put in front of her in that mood, they would just melt and everyone would be happy again… 😉 (one could wish)
xo,
lauriel
EyeForElegance.com
lauriel recently posted…Getting Dressy: Black Tie Bow & Glittering Gold
I’m so tired of people, especially people in the public eye saying mean things and thinking a simple apology will do. Your post is right on. Good for you for writing it.
Tiffany (A Mom’s Take) recently posted…Tips for Decorating Your Christmas Tree #BestDressedHome
Great point. People really need to think before they speak and think about how it would make them feel. By the way your daughter is so stinking cute! Love that happy smile.
Ashley Taylor recently posted…Christmas Wreath with Ornaments
Wow. I never even heard about this story. How hurtful and demeaning. I truly hope he does educate himself about this topic now.
Mistee Dawn recently posted…The Stork OTC could help you with your fertility issues.
I’m sure he still doesn’t know what he did wrong. He was told to apologize and he did. One could hope he’d learn from it and maybe he will
Patty recently posted…Eco-Friendly Art Kits from Artterro – Giveaway
How awful! Some people really need to use a filter and think before they speak. At least his true colors have been shown, what a jerk!
Jenn @ hellorigby! recently posted…The 10 Best Christmas Movies & Giveaway!
Forced apologies are the worst. At best, these things bring about teachable moments, like you mentioned. For the time the issue is in the spotlight, it’s an opportunity to teach.
Camesha | Mama Motivator recently posted…7 Quotes to Inspire – Instantly
I am not aware of this story, but most famous/popular people do use PR as a means to apologize even though they are doing it for the people to see instead of actually researching and realizing OH NO I should be sorry. In this particular case, I cannot relate, I am not offended by any words and have raised my kids not to be. Words never used to cause such a stir, but I totally get where you are coming from this. Appreciate you raising more awareness for something I have little knowledge about, so I can also learn more!
Brandy recently posted…You Just Have to Listen a Bit Harder #specialneeds