When I was a kid, I could not wait.
“I cannot wait until I grow up…”
I was going to rule the world. I’d be a flight attendant and the pilot. I was going to be a doctor and a vet. I was going to play for the Philadelphia Flyers. I was going to the Olympics for gymnastics. I was going to sing in a band on tour. I was going to own a farm. I was going to cure cancer. When I was a kid.
I cannot wait to grow up was a common phrase in our house. But really, what did being an adult mean? What did my parents hide?
As I approach 31 with 2 kids in a new house with all sorts of quirks, I am learning there is no age where you get to do whatever you want. Doing whatever you want is selfish anyways, so who cares? But really, adulting is hard. It is hard as fuck.
It’s fighting with a plumber, regulating the insulation in the attic, driving people everywhere they need to be, making sure the leaves aren’t in the neighbors’ yards, maintaining the cars, making time for your relationships, hoping your marriage is working, being the best parent you can be according to some app on your phone, hoping there is money for something- anything- that isn’t a necessity, smiling when your kids see you- even if you wish there were 5 more minutes left of school or naptime… then regretting you ever felt that way.
No really.
Shit goes down on the daily. Even something as minor as a tooth can destroy your day. Those things tear apart the gums of your child’s mouth with such a vengeance, you cannot help but cave in and rock and nurse them until the tears glue their eyes closed in a fitful sleep.
But being an adult. Truly adulting is also admitting that at 31, many of your friends will already have passed. Their children will be one parent less. Their parents will bury their child. This is not how it’s supposed to work.
Cancer.
AIDS.
War.
Suicide.
Murder.
Drugs.
It’s real. It is so fucking real.
And I am so raw.
On the same day we celebrate the first passing birthday of a friend who has just passed, we also bury a friend who has gone on, as well. To celebrate a life no longer here, with life we have to say goodbye to. To give it all up in the emotions department,
That is today. That is what being an adult means today. And it sucks. When I grow up, I cannot wait… for time to slow down. I think. Or speed up. Or maybe I’m just done waiting and need to live. I don’t know, except I cannot wait for today to be over.
Those are definitely not the things we dream of when we’re kids and say we wish we were grown ups. The fact is, being an adult is hard.
So hard.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I’m totally on board with this. The daily thought I have is, “Why the hell did I ever think growing up would be great?” Adulting sucks.
Jennifer recently posted…Amazon Blast Gift Card Giveaway
For real. No joke.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I am so sorry for your pain and loss. It is a terrible thing. I lost a friend in a terrible murder once and it was hard to fathom. Love every day to the fullest and don’t try to grow up too fast!
Jeanette recently posted…Southern Style BBQ Burger Bake
I wish I’d grown up a bit slower… I wish my friends had, too.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
Yeah, being an adult is not as fun as I had imagined. It has some perks, but there are drawbacks as well.
Kelly Hutchinson recently posted…10 Free Kindle Books From Amazon For 11/9/15
There are more than I’d expected!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I am so sorry you are going through all this. Being an adult is so hard at times. I sometimes wish I could turn back time and be a kid again and have hardly any worries at all.
Stacie recently posted…My Dietainment Story #StopDietainment
I wish for that a lot. I also wish I’d had the wisdom to know everything that I was waiting for… all the hurt out there that childhood, at least for a while, helped me avoid.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
Yep I feel the exact same way. I am so sorry for your loss. I know what thats like and its terrible, not something I wish upon anyone.
Jeanine recently posted…Deviled Egg Salad Sandwich
Thank you. I’m so sorry you know this loss, as well.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes life and being an adult is such a mystery to me. I hope that many bright days are in your future.
Thank you so much… I hope so, as well.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I’m so sorry you had a rough day. Things were much easier before! Hope you are doing okay!
Thank you.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
Yup… I remember being super-excited about growing up and couldn’t wait, either. Now I see my step-daughter doing the same thing and I just feel like yelling at her to slow down… being an adult SUCKS..I love my kids and family but the real world SUCKS
There are so many magical moments… but I know what’s underneath it all. I know how it can all come crashing down. I hate that. I miss just the magic. I want to hold onto that for my kids as long as I can.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
When I was a kid I’d say that hoping for a time when I had less responsibilities, if I’d only known! And yet, I still don’t wish I could go back to being a kid- Sometimes, yes, I wish I could have someone else carry the responsibilities, the weight, for just one day- but, in the end, being an adult is so worth it. Yes, even on days like today.
Love your positivity. Thank you.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
It’s so hard to cope with the losses. You really can’t plan for them. All the responsibility of being an adult can really weigh heavily on you.
Liz Mays recently posted…What’s In My Purse? Purse Tour!
It really can.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I am so sorry for your losses. Being a grown up can be so hard sometimes.
Tammi recently posted…Pesto Cheese Stuffed Chicken Rolls
Indeed it is.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
Awww it sounds like you have had a really rough day. I think being an adult is just dealing with life and always making the best of it! I hope tomorrow is better for you 🙂
Becca recently posted…I Did Art!
Thank you.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I agree that at no age are we allowed to do what we want. I am okay with that though, I like being responsible for myself and my family.
Dawn recently posted…6 Reasons Why I’m Thankful I Met My {Almost Ex} Husband
I like that… but I wish I could also then be responsible for my friends, yanno? I want to protect them… even from themselves. I wish I could make it all better in the world. This year, I am just sick of losing my friends.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
If we only knew how much being a grown up could suck when we were kids. It is really hard to loose people we care about especially to things as pointless as drugs and suicide.
Aubrey recently posted…Kentucky’s More Than a Derby
It really is.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
I had the same thoughts. I couldn’t wait to grow up when I was young. Now, I want it to slow down a bit.
Mykidsguide recently posted…Americaâs Funniest Home Videos Season 26 Episode 5: Alfonso Does the Carlton! #AFV
Amen.
I’m so sad you had another loss. I hate being a grown up most days…this is so hard. Thank you for your honest post. Being a grown up isn’t as cool as I thought it would be when I was 8 (that’s when I yelled that I hated being a kid.)
Mary Larsen recently posted…My Maternity Photo Session: Pregnancy Pictures with Agroterra Photography
We thought we knew so much… and we knew nothing.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
Yes, I think all us grown ups have been there, done that. We can learn so much from just watching our kids to learn to savor every moment instead of rushing to grow up since we all know the grass really isn’t greener once you’re over 21.
Janis @MommyBlogExpert recently posted…Master Twitter Party Calendar November 8-14 Parties w/ Prizes – Continuous Updates
SO true.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…6 Unique Christmas Stocking Stuffers for 2015
And their gift baskets? They have a huge selection & variety, and what an amazing gift to deliver to friends and family across the country! (ps, if you want to send me one, I have my eye on this!)