There are a million events going on now. Birthdays, baptisms, weddings, namings, BBQs… Sorry Game of Thrones, but it doesn’t look like Winter is ever coming. As with any good weather, we all want to get out- so we do! And we invite people to join us.
For the most part, casual meetings or group dates are left open to interpretation. The morning of is often a time we use to see if our kids are up for the event of the day. A stuffy nose or belly ache can certainly sideline the kids and totally throw off a play date- making a rain check the best idea.
But then there are birthdays.
As someone who provides food, drink and (hopefully) a seat- I need to know if you will be there. I am not a maybe. I am not someone you can ignore. Trust me, I know late-afternoon t-ball games are there, other parties you got invited to, the need for downtime and weekend work warriors. It’s OK to say ‘no’.
Just say it. Say no.
Please don’t disregard the end of the invitation I’ve taken time to send you. The date I need to know is for how much food. How much water. How many favors. I truly have taken the time to think of a date that I need to know- and because I love all of our friends, I usually think silence means you’re coming. Sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong. I am totally aware of last minute things… last minute illness, naps running over, siblings too clingy and emergencies happen- but I want to see you. If you’re not coming, please text me.
Sure, Emily Post has ‘laxed the rules. The days of responding within 3 days of receiving an invite and writing (using your social stationary of course) a response- has been replaced by reply cards, phone numbers, emails or, so simple, a click- yes, I consider paperless invites to be just as important(!). Please. Oh please, take a moment to read the end of your invitations (or the whole Facebook invite) and respond. I don’t want to tell you “MAYBE we won’t have food for you,” I want to know that I will, indeed, have something for you, or that I don’t need to have any. Maybe it’s a simple Yes or No click, or a text or an email. But it is a simple gesture that you know that I know that you are (or are not) able to come.
We’ve all forgotten to respond to things, and some events are just a maybe because who knows if the kids will be up to a zoo trip with 6 other families at high noon in August… but if we collectively work to say yes or no, we will be effectively shaping our children out of the “maybe” generation.
I guess you can say “maybe” is one of my bigger pet peeves. What’s one of yours?
Well, this may be a “pet peeve,” that needs to be reviewed by everyone who is invited anywhere. It’s a third generation issue! When I was married on 1973, my mother refused to include “response cards,” as she found this new idea “insulting” to friends and family. She expected that they would use their personal stationary and write a response to our engraved invitation. Yikes! However, people did, and I kept them in a box. It has been a nice memory to see the handwritten responses from people (especially those who have passed.) In this time of e-vites and clicks, respond people…..respond, “Yes” or “No.”
I like your comment. Maybe. 😉
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I hate having to follow up with RSVPs. All you have to do is make a phone call, send a text, or write a quick email. People who do not respond are very irritating to a host.
Heather Johnson recently posted…Hot Chocolate Construction Paper Craft
So true!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I do love when an invite has an email or text option. Makes it easy to respond at 9PM when the kids are in bed and I remember!
Melendy recently posted…The House is on the market!
This is one of my pet peeves as well. There is no excuse for bad manners!
Erika recently posted…Less Stress, More Joy: 10 Simple Strategies for Busy Moms
Amen!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
Not responding to RSVPs are as bad as gate crashers. I wish some people would recognize the importance of this to a host. Thanks for the informative post. I hope a lot of people will get to read this.
Annemarie LeBlanc recently posted…Viking River Cruises: 11 Reasons You Must Take This Amazing All-Inclusive Vacation
I hate when I run out of food- makes me so upset! …I also hate wasting food! Just tell me!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT?!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I understand this so very much when it comes to events. I do events for our community and anytime we have an RSVP event I always add 1-2% to my count because people don’t respond. I would rather have too much than not enough.
Brianna recently posted…5 Keys to Authentic Encouragement: How to Identify Flattery
Amen- I hate running out!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I find it so awful to not respond to a RSVP. It takes literally 2 minutes and is helpful to all. I’ve been on the other side so I know what its like.
Exactly!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I know what you feel! It’s so easy to let the host know if you are going or not! Usually, I prepare more food and favors just in case.
Me too! We have to, right? :/
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
Agreed! Great post. I’ve stopped hosting as much because of this!
jes recently posted…Chalk Painted Furniture by Color – Black Chalk Paint
Oh no! I love to host, but find it far more daunting due to RSVPs.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I think it is terribly rude to ignore an invitation, yet so many people do it! Especially if I am hosting a birthday party at a venue where I have to pay per head – I still have to pay! Kaz x
Ickle Pickle recently posted…Half Term in Pembrokeshire
OMG! YES! I gave a count for a party once- they charged me ahead of time and 3 people didn’t show at $12 a head! WHHHHYYYYY?!?!?
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
Responding is so easy to do but if you don’t do it, can cause so many problems or stress for the person sending out the invites. I agree too that it is ok to just say “no.” I would rather have that, than a maybe if I am planning an event with food and drink.
YES!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
OMG! I get you 100%. It’s frustrating that some parents don’t get that. It’s common sense!
Caroline recently posted…Easy Hummus Recipe (without tahini)
Yes it is!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!
I totally get it. Our daughter’s birthday is in a couple of weeks & I know there will be those last minute stragglers.
Farrah recently posted…#MotherhoodMonday: Mindfulness & Living in the Moment
Boooo! I hope everyone gives you a heads up!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Bring your family together over brunch at FiRE + iCE!