There are a million events going on now. Birthdays, baptisms, weddings, namings, BBQs… Sorry Game of Thrones, but it doesn’t look like Winter is ever coming. As with any good weather, we all want to get out- so we do! And we invite people to join us.
For the most part, casual meetings or group dates are left open to interpretation. The morning of is often a time we use to see if our kids are up for the event of the day. A stuffy nose or belly ache can certainly sideline the kids and totally throw off a play date- making a rain check the best idea.
But then there are birthdays.
As someone who provides food, drink and (hopefully) a seat- I need to know if you will be there. I am not a maybe. I am not someone you can ignore. Trust me, I know late-afternoon t-ball games are there, other parties you got invited to, the need for downtime and weekend work warriors. It’s OK to say ‘no’.
Just say it. Say no.
Please don’t disregard the end of the invitation I’ve taken time to send you. The date I need to know is for how much food. How much water. How many favors. I truly have taken the time to think of a date that I need to know- and because I love all of our friends, I usually think silence means you’re coming. Sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong. I am totally aware of last minute things… last minute illness, naps running over, siblings too clingy and emergencies happen- but I want to see you. If you’re not coming, please text me.
Sure, Emily Post has ‘laxed the rules. The days of responding within 3 days of receiving an invite and writing (using your social stationary of course) a response- has been replaced by reply cards, phone numbers, emails or, so simple, a click- yes, I consider paperless invites to be just as important(!). Please. Oh please, take a moment to read the end of your invitations (or the whole Facebook invite) and respond. I don’t want to tell you “MAYBE we won’t have food for you,” I want to know that I will, indeed, have something for you, or that I don’t need to have any. Maybe it’s a simple Yes or No click, or a text or an email. But it is a simple gesture that you know that I know that you are (or are not) able to come.
We’ve all forgotten to respond to things, and some events are just a maybe because who knows if the kids will be up to a zoo trip with 6 other families at high noon in August… but if we collectively work to say yes or no, we will be effectively shaping our children out of the “maybe” generation.
I guess you can say “maybe” is one of my bigger pet peeves. What’s one of yours?