Instilling pride in oneself at the age of 3 is easy (hello threenager), but pride in a disability (yes, it’s OK to say disability!) can render a parent hopeless.
How does one help their child embrace what is different when different means they struggle to keep up? That they can’t reach lots of things other kids can? That they fall. All the time. How? First, I beg of you to remember that all the things that make us cringe, all of those things that seem negative, are learning experiences. For you and your child.
1. For us, we first have to acknowledge the parts of ourselves that understand the differences in our children, and know that our children do not yet know the difference. Knowing you are not the same and knowing what is different are two different things. Give encouragement during those hard moments. When Addie cannot keep up, we encourage her to wait until the kids pass again, make up her own game, cheer her friends on. Get creative! Dwarfism gives an amazing opportunity to be more creative and better at problem solving that average height children!
2. To get by in life, we all need to be fierce sometimes. Try to focus on that. I love the phrase though she be but little, she is fierce, but before she is small, she is sturdy- inside and out. Ferocity will always mean more than size. When we repeat phrases like Little person, big heart or small body, big goals, we are perpetuating the smallness- “Be proud of your fierceness,” we tell Addie. Giving her natural personality a boost, the focus is on her. She is not dwarfism, it’s just a part of her! I have a tattoo on my back that says, “She is fierce. 4/17/12” And that she is.
3. Make everyday a day to educate. For you and for your child. For your neighborhood. For your school. The best education is showing how your child is like every other child. With a cool 3 inch scar, a few more bruises than the other kids and some awesome step stools and accommodations… your child is like other kids! Even if your child wears a mask to sleep, is in a wheelchair, needs a brace, a trach… Embrace, love, share your journey.
To refer to Welcome to Holland, this is Italy. I promise, it rains all over Europe on some days. Don’t let the rain drown out your own parade of pride! Being different is beautiful:
Yes, this is só important.
I agree with: When we repeat phrases like Little person, big heart or small body, big goals, we are perpetuating the smallness.
I myself actually wish there were another word to refer to our loved ones rather than using the word ‘little’ people. Addie is, as always, beautiful.
I agree- little people is not my favorite, either.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
You are raising her to be a strong, amazing young lady. I love how you advocate for her 🙂
Thank you!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She’s on the right track with a mother that has a beautiful heart! She’s absolutely gorgeous!
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<3
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I think you are doing an awesome job at empowering her. She’s lucky to have you guys as parents just as you’re lucky to have her as your daughter.
Indeed, we are!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She is adorable! I think its great that you are teaching her to embrace her differences.
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I hope so!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I think you are doing a fantastic job empowering Adelaide. You can see her confidence just from her pictures.
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She *is* rather confident 😉
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Great message, you are empowering your daughter to be herself which is a beautiful thing.
Thank you!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Your daughter is beautiful and she looks like she believes she is fierce in that picture. LOVE it! You are definitely doing a great job of being her Mommy. 🙂
Thank you, Dawn!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
You are very right, we are all different, and while not all of our differences are visible on the outside, we must learn to embrace them and make them a part of us, rather than let them define who we are. I have heard from so many of my blogger friends that have had the pleasure of meeting you and your daughter, how enigmatic and completely charming Addie is. It’s great to see such a beautiful young girl growing into herself!
She is rocking it!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Addie is such a beautiful child. You are raising her well and you are doing a great job as her mommy.
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Thank you!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
You are such a great writer. I think you do a great job at conveying your feelings in such a clear way and I bet she gets that gift from you too!
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She is a wordsmith at 3… I think I am learning from her 🙂
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I love the way you are teaching her to be strong. I wish every parent would teach their children that is okay to be different I think it more children had a sense of self things would be a lot better in the schools.
I totally agree with that. Be more like you and less like everyone else!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She is too cute. Education is truly the key to helping others & yourselves understand the differences in life.
SO true!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Find The Right Size Confidence and Get Back in the Game
Your daughter, and you, are both amazing. May you both continue to stand tall and spread the word about dwarfism awareness together.
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Thank you, Janis!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Thank you!
I’m so thankful that you have her, just keep it up raising her.
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Will do!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I have been struggling with my daughter’s developmental delays. It is a real struggle when you are faced with the roadblocks or challenges that they face because of them. You totally just reminded me how to keep it in perspective and not be discouraged with what I can’t change or control.
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Oh mama, there are those downright shitty days for sure. It’s OK to feel down sometimes, but you know you don’t live in that dark place… just visit for a brief while.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I love the phrase “though she be but little, she is fierce” too! My daughter was diagnosed with hydrocephalus at 6 months old. While it hasn’t been too much of an obstacle for her, we have had some struggles and she has always surprised and awed me with her attitude toward it.
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Kids are insanely resilient. I cannot even believe how fast Addie bounces back from things!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She’s so Beautiful. I admire you how to raising her a good and strong child you’re such a good mommy
Thank you!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She’s just adorable and perfect the way she is. It’s something she might have problems with in the future, from her peers, but don’t let her forget she’s perfect!
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I’ll never let her forget that!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I agree that we need to teach children to be proud of the things they were born with that they can’t change. my son has SPD and Autism and we try to have him understand his uniqueness and embrace him being different.
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You rock, mama!!!!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I think uniqueness is worth celebrating. I love your outlook and it’s great that you encourage others to do these things too.
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Thanks, Liz. I hope that other parents out there live outside of the hard times. I know a lot of families get drawn in and often miss all the good as they are hyperfocused on the bad and hard, etc. There are HARD days, and those may never really end, but there are endless amazing days out there!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
My children and I have to eat a gluten-free diet for medical reasons. It’ has been that way for over 10 years now. No one knew what ‘gluten’ was when we had to start down this path. It really separated my kids from the mainstream however we found their classmates did not see them differently but rather accepted it as part of them as they did their eye or hair color. When they’d bring in birthday treats to school, they’d bring in a gluten-free option for the kids too even though we kept a gluten-free treat box in the classroom for special situations. The kids learned early on it’s just part of what makes them unique, it doesn’t make them ‘less than’.
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I love that, Toni! Being unique is never less than!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
You are raising her to be strong and bekieve in herself. I love the saying “she is fierce”. She will be able to call on that fierceness to help herself in later years.
I hope she does pull that from herself if she ever needs it!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
My son Jason has clubfoot and needed casts and braces since birth. Only recently (the past few years) has he been brace/cast free. People asked the strangest questions and sometimes the rudest questions (did you break his leg) but I still took the time to explain his situation. I agree with everything you have to say. <3
Lee
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OMG THE THINGS PEOPLE ASK?! Helllllooooo no filter. Downright rude sometimes. It’s the worst.
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Bravo to you and your beutiful daughter. Love your comment… “but before she is small, she is sturdy- inside and out.” I have always said I hope to pass on to my kids 1) a sense of adventure but also a strong sense of independence, I love your line… sturdy- inside and out!!!! Would make a great t-shirt!!
Oooh. I like that- I need to get some made!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
You are such a great parent! Your little daughter is not only super adorable and smart but she seems very confident which is a pretty hard thing to achieve. I’m sure it’s all thanks to you, the parents.
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<3
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
She looks like an amazing child, and you are an amazing mother.
Thank you!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I think you already know that I love your spirit, passion and voice when it comes to your child and her abilities as well as her challenges. You are lucky to have each other. Most people wouldn’t get it when I said that I love my youngest exactly the way he is and wouldn’t wish it to be different. But I know you get it.
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Oh Val, you know I do! He’s such a light, too. We have amazing kids because we see that light, love it, nurture it and create these amazing people!!! <3
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Being creative when there are differences is smart thinking. I love the idea to have her cheering her friends on. Everyone needs a good cheerleader. 🙂
She is THE BEST!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
Love this! Your daughter is beautiful – and I love that saying as well – “Though she be but little, she is fierce”!
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That she is!
Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…#DIY NO MESS China Cabinet Update
I can’t imagine the challenges that you face but I think it’s great that you are taking them head on and are empowering her with her differences. She’s lucky to have you!
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Thank you!
She is so beautiful, she is so lucky to have you as her mother.
Thank you! <3
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