It\’s what no one talks about, what no one admits to and what so many moms suffer from in silence.
Postpartum depression.
I had normal postpartum blues after having Elijah, I also had some sadness after weaning him around 8 months, but I never had any postpartum depression after having him.
I had trouble getting excited when first finding out I was pregnant with Lorelei beside she was not planned. After I had her it was such a nonstop whirlwind of appts and tests and so much worry and concern I never felt that instant in love, obsessed feeling that I had with Elijah. I love her with everything inside of me, I just feel like I haven\’t bonded with her like I want to.
Around a month ago it finally hit me, I think I have postpartum depression. Something that no one wants to admit. I was so sleep deprived and emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I was crying over everything and nothing. I\’d forget to shower for days or forget if I had brushed my teeth. I was never hungry, so I just didn\’t eat. I finally admitted it to myself and to my husband. I have postpartum depression and I think I need help.
Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist and once I said out loud all of the things I had been feeling I realized just how far I had let it get.
We came up with a plan, try and sleep 2 nights of 4 hour blocks of sleep in a week and try and eat breakfast every morning. So even when I\’m not hungry, I make myself a protein shake and I try and go to sleep when the kids go to bed on my nights off.
I also hired someone to clean the house. I felt guilty for doing that , like I should be able to clean my own house, but I let those feelings go and I allowed myself to hire someone. They came today for the first time and I took the kids out to play while the house was getting cleaned. We came home and the house looked and smelled so clean. I was able to spend the day with kids and not feel like I \”should be\” doing something else . I was so relaxed and it feels so good to have our house organized and clean.
I can handle this postpartum depression and move past it, I WILL come out a stronger woman and a better mother.
Postpartum depression is not something any woman should be ashamed of, as a society we need to be more supportive of moms and as women we need to be more supportive of each other. Being a mom is hard, being a mom of two is tougher than I expected and being a mom to a preemie with medical issues and who doesn\’t sleep is the hardest fucking thing I\’ve ever had to do but I can do this . My kids deserve me at my best and I will get there. I don\’t want them to see me sad or unmotivated.
Admitting something needs to change is the first step, taking steps to make the change is the second step.
I can do this and if you are going through it, you can too.
AUTHOR: Emily torres
AUTHOR EMAIL: ewtorres718@gmail.com
AUTHOR URL:
SUBJECT: [A is for Adelaide and…] Open Call for Submissions!
IP: 68.0.234.106
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[1_Name] => Emily torres
[2_Email] => ewtorres718@gmail.com
[3_Website] =>
[4_Title of Piece] => Post Partum Reality
[5_Topic? (Parenting, dwarfism, beauty, fitness, etc.)] => Postpartum depression
[6_Original content ONLY, please check here to show your agreement:] => Yes
[7_Text (300-2,000 words)] => It\’s what no one talks about, what no one admits to and what so many moms suffer from in silence.
Postpartum depression.
I had normal postpartum blues after having Elijah, I also had some sadness after weaning him around 8 months, but I never had any postpartum depression after having him.
I had trouble getting excited when first finding out I was pregnant with Lorelei beside she was not planned. After I had her it was such a nonstop whirlwind of appts and tests and so much worry and concern I never felt that instant in love, obsessed feeling that I had with Elijah. I love her with everything inside of me, I just feel like I haven\’t bonded with her like I want to.
Around a month ago it finally hit me, I think I have postpartum depression. Something that no one wants to admit. I was so sleep deprived and emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I was crying over everything and nothing. I\’d forget to shower for days or forget if I had brushed my teeth. I was never hungry, so I just didn\’t eat. I finally admitted it to myself and to my husband. I have postpartum depression and I think I need help.
Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist and once I said out loud all of the things I had been feeling I realized just how far I had let it get.
We came up with a plan, try and sleep 2 nights of 4 hour blocks of sleep in a week and try and eat breakfast every morning. So even when I\’m not hungry, I make myself a protein shake and I try and go to sleep when the kids go to bed on my nights off.
I also hired someone to clean the house. I felt guilty for doing that , like I should be able to clean my own house, but I let those feelings go and I allowed myself to hire someone. They came today for the first time and I took the kids out to play while the house was getting cleaned. We came home and the house looked and smelled so clean. I was able to spend the day with kids and not feel like I \”should be\” doing something else . I was so relaxed and it feels so good to have our house organized and clean.
I can handle this postpartum depression and move past it, I WILL come out a stronger woman and a better mother.
Postpartum depression is not something any woman should be ashamed of, as a society we need to be more supportive of moms and as women we need to be more supportive of each other. Being a mom is hard, being a mom of two is tougher than I expected and being a mom to a preemie with medical issues and who doesn\’t sleep is the hardest fucking thing I\’ve ever had to do but I can do this . My kids deserve me at my best and I will get there. I don\’t want them to see me sad or unmotivated.
Admitting something needs to change is the first step, taking steps to make the change is the second step.
I can do this and if you are going through it, you can too.
[entry_title] => Open Call for Submissions!
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