When you look at my photo, I hope it makes you smile. A funny mama in her 30’s that loves her “grapes”… Almost. It is more than that. So much more.
I shared a status on my personal Facebook wall this past weekend:
Self control at an open bar... only took me 31 years to get it right! Click To TweetIt was met with a lot of likes and a few laughs… but it really got me thinking about what that status represented. The night before, I’d enjoyed a beautiful Newport wedding of a friend of 10 years by the side of my husband of 7. I’d asked Dave to help me limit my drinks to 3. A good social number, I thought. Cocktail hour, dinner, dessert- with a sip or 2 of champagne.
The hardest part of weddings:
Though the bride’s father started his speech off shaky- it took a direction of nothing less than a pure and true love. It had me imagining: what would my Dad have said? And in the moment, where I would have grabbed a shot of whiskey, I lifted a glass of lemon water to my lips, took a deep sip, blinked my tears into my napkin and toasted the beautiful words of a man to his child. Just a sip of champagne. It truly was a beautiful speech.
The parent/child parts of a wedding are always the hardest for me. Worst are when there is a healthy relationship between a father and daughter. I revert to that childish thought of why not me?
On this night, the mother/son dance was to Billy Joel’s Lullaby. This happened to be my father/daughter dance (which was danced with my stepfather in memory of my father). While I broke down inside, I only let a few silent tears fall.
It’s not your moment, I thought as Dave squeezed my thigh.
I felt like I didn’t need that drink.
I am not saying I am an alcoholic, though it’s no stranger to our family. What I am saying is that alcohol has always been an escape for me. It’s also been a way to have fun, relax, socialize, escape. Alcohol has worn many hats for me… but rarely has it ever been to simply compliment a meal and punctuate a conversation with friends in celebration. Not without being a few other unsavory things simultaneously.
At this wedding, I enjoyed the view. I enjoyed the company of my husband. Seeing my friends walk hand in hand, eyes glued to the other, as though they were reading words of love from the other’s soul. I relished in the love that surrounds weddings… instead of wallowing in the sadness that I’ve previously let in. …and I truly think it’s the little changes I have made that allowed me to do this. That gave me this one night to finally figure it all out.
Decide to make the changes:
I have been talking a lot about making decisions, small steps and how they will change your life. From better nutrition to finding workouts that I love, these changes have equaled more than I could have imagined they would. Quite similar to one of my favorite books The Compound Effect, it only makes sense to make small changes, watch them bank and then grow, making life more complete. Right?
What I haven’t told you is that taking these small steps for my health and nutrition have also lead to less alcohol consumption. Where I wasn’t an alcoholic, I certainly had a problem. A problem enjoying alcohol without it being too much.
The rich nectar of grapes guzzled by the 6oz glass, one after another with such little thought to the effect it had on my health. Mental and physical. The sulfites surely to bring a headache at 3am, which I knew. And ignored. Always telling myself I was with friends who were doing the same, so I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
But not last night.
Sure, I was glad I had a designated driver, of course, and I was warm and fuzzy- even after the hour and a half ride home. But in the morning? I awoke with vigor. Still glowing from the honor of seeing our friends married in one of the most beautiful venues I’ve ever seen!
I am not here to say DON’T drink or that drinking can’t be relaxing! We all deserve to relax however we relax. Maybe it is a good book, a bath, a night out with friends, a glass of wine or a beer, a movie, a workout.
Whatever your relax is, know its why, too. For me, I thought I was relaxing because I enjoyed wine… but that wasn’t it. My enjoyment of wine is in social situations, over dinner, or a bloody Mary at brunch. Not at 4:58pm on a Tuesday while cooking dinner. Alone. That is my body craving escape. Or sugar. Or both.
That is the danger of a mind-altering substance. #makethechange Click To TweetI still love a glass of wine with dinner, or a mixed drink or two at a wedding, but when I am giving back to my body starting each morning, I find my relax is not in altering my body with a drug, but by enjoying a hot cup of tea, a workout, or a movie with Dave.
I can still change my body and mind with the release of hormones and endorphins, while being completely in control. That is a feeling I didn’t know I was longing for. A control I didn’t know I didn’t have.
Clarity
So… that is my honesty for the week. I hope that sharing this brings you some clarity on your why. It’s been about 3 months, and my box-of-wine-a-week has dwindled to less than that in a month. This has opened my eyes to my problem. I don’t miss wine, or want it and not have it. It’s sitting on my shelf, right now, as I type. I just don’t have a delicious meal in front of me, friends surrounding me, and the desire to have a glass, as we chat about cook times, parenting, and re-mortgaging our homes.
This is about how giving back to your health and wellness can have life-altering side effects besides lean muscles and a few pounds off the scale. How caring for you is an all-encompassing journey back to you… or to a new you. And how amazing are new journeys to embark upon?
What’s the first step you’re going to take for you?
I am sadly allergic to alcohol but can relate. For me it is food at night. I NEED my nightly snack at 8 pm that ultimately undoes everything I do at the gym.
Oh no! I have a snack attack every now and then and I hate it!
Good for you! When I start focusing on the health of my body Eitan to definitely drink less and eat more fruits and vegetables.
Exactly! When we give to our bodies, it gives back to us!
Thank you for sharing your story. For me, I need to get more active and cut back on the Tim Horton’s ice capps. I’ve started walking daily so it’s a start but I am at an unhealthy weight and see my son following in my footsteps. I want to set a good example for my son so he doesn’t end up battling with his weight like I do.
Setting an example is one of the best things we can do! Please jump into our fit group–> https://www.facebook.com/groups/1760539360901907/
I think this is great. Good for you! I don’t drink much at all. I’ve never really been much for a drink either. I’ve always stuck with water.
Thank you! And that is awesome! I am back to water and loving it!!
I am so proud of you. I know that’s a huge change and tottaly worth it.
Thank you so much!
What a very open and inspiring post! You are one strong lady and you should be extremely proud.
Oh, thank you so much!
I agree that it takes little steps, whether it’s something simple and forgettable, or something that is difficult and life changing. It sounds like you’re doing a great job and I’m sure you’ll have no problem moving forward with the same mind frame.
I sure hope so! Thank you!
It can be so easy to over do it with alcohol. I am so glad you had an amazing time at the wedding and did not feel the need to drink more then you did.
So easy! Thank you!
What an open and honest post! Im so proud of you!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that!
Thanks for sharing your story! Alcoholism runs in my family so I will have a fruity drink on occasion but am always careful to never drink more than one (or two which is very rare).
YES! So important to be aware!
I have so much respect for you – for being so honest about your struggles and your decision to get healthy. I am with you on living clean and not trying to numb my feelings and fears with alcohol rather facing them and living life with all its scary uncertainties one day at a time and Appreciating how much beauty there is in the ordinary
Thank you so so much. It’s a battle for sure, but I know there is so much love and support out there, I’ll stick with this!
This is beautifully written. I don;t drink at all, but I do do this same escaping its treats and unhealthy foods. I am also trying to work on it!
Let’s support each other!!!
Thank you for sharing your story, I truly enjoyed reading it! I’m not a big drinker but I know how hard it can be to deal with addiction.
I have watched some members of my family struggle with addiction… it’s so hard.
Those changes are hard and take a lot of strength. Way to go!!
Thank you!
Great job with your life style changes! I can tell you worked very hard to make these changes and it’s wonderful that you can share your story with others.
Thank you <3
I think this is great. Good for you! I don’t drink much! I’ve always loved water!!!
I do love wine, but am also LOVING my water and feeling better!!! Thanks for following my journey!
You are so brave to share your story like this…thank you. I got to a similar point my last year of college and although I too was able to take a step back, I know that many do not. Be proud of yourself for making a healthy change that’s good for your family.
That is amazing of you, too!! Thank you for the support!
I love your transparency in this post! I think it’s so easy to think that drinking is the only way to have fun, when in reality most of the time I have more fun sober (or buzzed)!
Amen to that!
It took a lot to put that down in words. I’m so taken you shared with us so we can all have a little moment of clarity.
Thank you <3
I have different point of view regarding this issue. I think they stopped selling alcohol in regular stores because of lots of ‘fake’ alcohol being sold at some point.. But alcohol in these government stores is really high quality…we got a few bottles of italian prosecco and it was amazing and quite moderately priced