There have been an influx of questions coming to me from new parents, friends and curious people regarding Adelaide’s ability to have a family. In no uncertain terms, yes. Should Addie decide to have a family, she certainly can.
While having questions regarding a child’s body which is still in the growing stages of a toddler is unnerving to any parent, more so is the thought that people think they need to know that about Addie. I have, more than once, chomped into my tongue to hold back the words “Google it”, for a lesser aggressive, “should she choose, yes, she can have children.” I’ve even gone into detail for those who have waited for more, like perhaps there was a great folklore to spread… “Addie’s type of dwarfism is achondroplasia. In her type, for the most part, there is no issue bearing children. Her organs are the same size as an average stature person- her uterus can hold a child. Her pregnancy would go as far as about 37 weeks before she would have a scheduled c-section, and her pregnancy would be monitored perhaps a bit different from another mother, but it is completely possible should her father and I ever allow her to date.” Yes. That’s about it.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to snap- but I always remember that the way I present myself is a reflection of our community and how Addie will learn for herself… and curiosity is how change is made, how education is spread and how information is, at its very core, shared. So yes, Addie can have a family.
In the midst of my Summer of Questions, I happened upon a friend’s video. It was something she posted on her Facebook wall and it brought me to tears. Night after night I watched the video. Not because she’s a woman, my age, with achondroplasia who gave birth to an achon son that might one day be family (HE’S ADORABLE!), but because her husband’s loving gesture of making this video made me fill up with the same goo that Hallmark Christmas commercials incite in me. Then, as I opened another “Re: just wondering” email, I smiled. Here was my answer.
Many people ask the same questions, and while I tire of them, I have to remember the first time a question was asked, most likely I didn’t know the answer either. I am learning… learning to be a mom, a friend, a community member, an educator, an advocate. When I feel overwhelmed, or I have the thought that Addie is so different, I watch this video and remember that she isn’t. She can marry a hopeless romantic, enjoy a beautiful birth and have a lifetime of happiness, love and fulfillment whether she’s 4 feet or 6 feet. Inches and money never made someone happier than a person filled with love, support and the opportunity to create all the memories of a lifetime one could handle.
Thank you Kim and Ron for sharing your beautiful video with the world. We love Noah and cannot wait to meet!
As an aside, I want to say I have never forgotten where I was this day 12 years ago. Sitting in psych class at Upper Moreland- a TV was rolled in and we watched the second tower crumble. Thank you to all for their service that day.