So here we are, 9 Months. I never thought we would meet. What I mean to say is, I was hoping we would never meet. I was, in fact, hoping I would not meet my 28th birthday, but that came and went, so I’m not shocked that my baby girl is now 9 months. I’m just shocked. If there was a difference.
Last night I attempted to put her in the crib. We spent most of the day in the newly redesigned-for-baby living room, which meant a huge couch moving into the dining room to act as the largest dog bed, ever. It also meant my foam workout floor mat is now where Addie plays. While I wish I could say “I want it back,” I’m just happy someone is actually using it now!
We began our routine as different as different could be. She had her milk downstairs, and after finishing we headed up to her room. Usually, she eats in our bed, slowly drifting, and then gets into PJs and we put her in the Pack ‘n’ Play (upper level) next to the bed. However, I feel like she is hearing better AND she’s learned that she can sit up. Milestone + hearing = not so great at getting to sleep. And so, in her room, after her milk, I undressed her, changed her diaper, put her in PJs and we sat in my plushy rocker. I have not been in that rocker for a while, and it felt so good. Oddly, it brought me back to when she was still just nursing (I like to call it BP… before pump). We would spend hours, both of us covered in milk and always drowsy, unaware if 2:00 was AM or PM. This time however, we read. We began with Llama Llama Red Pajama, and moved into Chicka Chicka 1-2-3… which led to, naturally, my favorite, Chicka Chikca A-B-C.
I turned her facing me, and hugged her to my body as she lifted her head and smiled from behind her bink. I laid her in the crib, turned on the music to her Baby Einstein Aquarium… and there she fell fast asleep.
This is the first night in your crib! You’re not supposed to fall fast asleep.
I wanted to wake her. I wanted to hold her to me and tell her she needed me to fall asleep.
But I let her sleep. I let her be.
I know that when and if she gets tubes, she will hear better. Way better. Dave and I are not quiet people. We stay up late watching movies and talking about work and our dreams for the future. Being in our room, she would not get the rest she needs, but falling fast asleep for her first night was so unexpected.
I envisioned replays of some recent afternoons, where taking her regular afternoon crib nap has been a struggle. Napping without mommy is never fun- mommy knows that more than Addie- so I was 100% thinking, this will be a fun experiment. And there it was. Not fun, but terrifying.
There was a wake-up around 10, and hour after she’d gone to bed, and Dave and I tried our hardest to soothe her without picking her up… until I patted her bum. Diaper change… and directly back to sleep. As usual, she woke herself with a few screeches in the night, but put herself right back to bed. I stared at her through the monitor from 1:30-3am… and then, finally, fell asleep. Having two monitors definitely helped me relax.
She woke at 7:15am (9-10pm and 10:30pm-7:15am her first night… let’s hope this wasn’t a fluke!), and Dave carried her to me before heading to work, where we snuggled until 8:45. When we both woke to make breakfast, I was able to get out of my side of the bed for the first time in 9 months, and the day so far has been calm and 100% tear free (not that she cries a lot anyway)! There are a thousand reasons it was time for her to move to the crib, and there are a thousand reasons for her to stay in my arms… co-sleeping has been proven to heal, soothe and cure if done for the first year of life. I plan on snuggling in the AM, like we did today… but I am so proud of my independent girl for making it through the first night better than me!
It’s been the longest and shortest nine months of my life.
Addie has been to over 12 doctors and specialists, traveled thousands of miles by train and car, made some great friends, watched hockey the day she was born, enjoyed football every weekend with grandpa, been bathed by her loving puppy-brother (Carter), won the hearts of hundreds of people she’s never met, and been my inspiration to be a better person, whether that be mom, wife, sister, daughter or friend.