The love you feel for your child when you imagine them, conceive them, first meet them… they’re all different loves, but somehow none are more or better than another. It’s just evolving. That is how I feel about becoming a mother again. There are fears, of course, but mostly I just feel my love changing. I feel my heart expanding and my ability to somehow love two humans so completely and fully without a more-so-lesser-than apprehension. I just love.
So, why is Millie’s room still not done?
Well… it’s not to create sibling rivalry and it’s not that I don’t care. I mean I totally had a meltdown the other day when my mom couldn’t find our bedding which is being discontinued. Thus far I’d only had curtains and I was a mess when she called to tell me that the bedding was nowhere. When I finally found it I was so panicked yet relieved, that I posted my I’m crazy and I know it brag on a birth board I am on:
Ummm… legit. I really needed it. Oddly, Addie’s bedding was being curtailed at the end of my pregnancy with her, too and we went on a mad dash to find the bed skirt, which I’d gotten and washed and dried on high heat, which melted (!) part of it. About 50 calls to different stores and we had it. Similarly, I found the bedding and now we are on a mission to get her the things to go with it (accents make all the difference!). I know it is just bedding, but have you ever told a pregnant woman, relax, it’s just…? Yeah. Not a situation you want to be in.
So… we have done a few things… a very few. And this is where we are now. Oh my, how far we are! By this time with Addie, we were set up and washing baby clothes, cooing to ourselves as we sauntered past her bedroom, just waiting for her arrival. I would come home from work and sit in her chair and imagine what it would be like when she was finally here. And now… I am imagining how I will get it all done with two, and loving every moment of my dreams because I know when I am in it, I will feel like I’m in the weeds (anyone else have a culinary background?) and be overwhelmed.
In truth. I am just in love. And as with all love, this love is different. It is complex, and whole, and admiring. A little girl to love and hold and learn from her big sister, the way only a sister can learn. A baby girl is coming… and thankfully, she will be in our room for at least 6 months, because her room might never be completed!
Did you run into delays with your second children? It all gets done eventually… right?