There have been quite a few posts about mommy wars lately, and while it’s probably overkill, I’ll do a quick post, too!
As someone who has a diverse (in beliefs) family, I know the look well. You know- the one that judges. Moms who breastfeed who think they’re better than moms who pump, who think they’re better thank moms who formula feed, who think they’re better than moms that add rice to the bottle. I even had a mom tell me it was great I was “trying” to breastfeed Addie, but using the shield is like using a bottle. Thanks for your input- I’ll be sure to beat myself up later.
Let me say, no one is better. If you’re not beating your child, you’re on the path to whatever right is.
My list of faults:
1. Addie has a very loose bed time. She eats on a set schedule (unless she gets hungry earlier) but if she doesn’t fall asleep til 10, that’s ok. On top of that, we co-sleep, in bed, a lot. Other than that she sleeps in the bassinet. I’m not ready for her to be in her own room.
2. I smother my baby with kisses and hugs. I hold her all night, if that’s what she wants. I let her nap in her crib, but stalk the monitors (yep, two monitors).
3. We are on a traditional vaccine schedule, but Dave demands NO flu shots. We use Tylenol before her shots (GASP!), but Hyland’s Teething tablets for teething pain.
4. We use disposable diapers. I didn’t even consider cloth. And on that note: I don’t use a wipe with pee diapers.
5. We started solids at 4 1/2 months… And Addie loves food! I make most of my own baby food, the rest I buy organic.
6. I wash her clothes separate, with expensive detergent. My sheets, too- because she’s on them a lot. I bleach the whites: her whites, too. But, sometimes washing clothes before wearing doesn’t happen- for her or me.
7. We watch So You Think You Can Dance and Chopped together on Hulu, and she sits and types at the computer with me.
8. When I shower, she plays by herself in her room. Alone. And she lives! And, she takes a bath with me almost everyday. I love bonding with her… and having my own shower!
9. I don’t go out alone much. Not because I can’t, but because I don’t want to. When I get my hair done, Addie comes- she likes the attention.
10. We use the shield to nurse… but I primarily pump. Addie has never had formula.
11. When Addie was 4 days old, we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. It was delicious… I ate my meat rare for the first time in 10 months.
12. I’m a stay at home mom. We can’t financially afford it, but emotionally, it’s more fulfilling than a trillion dollar check.
13. We will send Addie to school, most likely public. She needs to learn how to handle herself without me. I will cry everyday I drop her off.
14. If she cries, I pick her up.
15. Addie stops crying when Gotye comes on. So we listen to hipster mixes… I think I enjoy Baby Einstein more than she does.
16. I believe in playing over any structured teaching before age 4.
17. We carpeted her bedroom with the most expensive, natural carpet out there. If we could afford it, I would carpet our bedroom and office, too!
18. Addie and I traveled to Philadelphia via train when she was 7 weeks old. It was an amazing experience.
19. I tell Addie she is perfect. I also sing to her that inside she is big. I remind her that size means nothing. Positive reinforcement rules this house; I do believe in NO, however. #sizemeanslittletome
20. I want Addie to have everything I was afforded (in a good economy)- I will bring her to musicals, hockey games, the zoo, aquarium, and the ballet. I will get her a custom made bike by Nathan Hooper. I will try and send her to Meadowbrook School. But, more than anything, I will not say NO to her if we can afford it.
21. I tell her about my father and Heaven. She came to church for the first time when she was 10 days old. She was baptized when she was 6 weeks. I am Roman Catholic and Jewish. Don’t get it? You don’t have to- that’s the good part about not being Addie, or Addie’s mom!
22. Addie sleeps with a binky- and I think she looks adorable with it.
23. I cut Addie’s nails with clippers. I have clipped her before. She lived. We continue to use clippers.
24. I am a tattooed parent. Heavily tattooed by some standards (unless you’re in Providence, RI).
25. I’ve already screwed up her life, I’m sure, because I do all of these “wrong” things, but I love her with my whole being, I know Dave does, too.
A friend of mine said it best: these are my beliefs, and I have no reason to justify them. Addie is our child, and we are doing the best for her!
Mommy love. Mommy peace. Mommy happiness.
She’s a happy little lady <3