I need this more than you.

Dear Adelaide,

I recently found myself purposely skipping meals and denying little cravings (PMS) because I thought that was the best way to lose those few pounds that have crept up since football season started. But as I watched you eat yesterday, you smiled and handed me pieces of your food- encouraging me to have some, too. Your ability to read people is astounding.

I am not doing the job I hoped to as a mother. I’m not showing you that it is important to love yourself- not when I am abusing my own metabolism with binges and starvation. I want to share this with you… because I need to hear it, too:

Love your body. Your curves and folds and wrinkles and curls. All the lines and intersections that make up you.

I write this to you because I am only now learning to love mine. Mima always told me how beautiful I was, but I didn’t listen. I hope you will hear me. I hope you will see your body as I try to see mine… A map.

The softness of my belly where I carried you so tenderly. The definition of my calves from years of sports and dance. The sun spots on my nose from seasons spent outdoors. The curves in my pinkies from Mima’s hands to mine. The red in my hair that comes from your Great-Grandmother, Harriet. My body has battled illness, run hundreds of miles, studied into the night, partied into the morning, played countless games, loved a few men and carried me on my beautiful Life’s journey. The best part? My body gave life to you.

Your body will do many of these things, too. You will be a fighter, a lover and a game player. You will feel hurt and pain and joy and pleasure. From stubbed toes to Swedish massages, booboos I can kiss better and others that a doctor with mend. Your body is beautiful.

Your body is beautiful.

Your body is beautiful.

As you repeat that to yourself, let me also tell you this: your body is yours and yours alone.

Love yourself. Be in control of yourself. And love yourself.
If there were ever enough words for me to tell you how beautiful you are, from the strength of your legs through the beaming smile on your face, I’d say them…

I love all of you sweet girl. And all of me, too.

~mom

12 Comments

Filed under Dear Adelaide

12 Responses to I need this more than you.

  1. Lovely. I think we are on the same page. Let’s teach these girls some self love!

  2. This post may be your most profoundly beautiful post of all… because it is all about LOVE. How do we teach LOVE? Show it. How do we teach SELF-LOVE? It may be the most difficult part of LOVING someone else so unconditionally that there IS ONLY LOVE. How do we as Mamas transfer that LOVE to our babies, our girl babies and our boy babies. What is perfection? What is all-encompassing? It is always LOVE… but how do we reach into the soul and teach the soul to LOVE outwardly? Taking those little gifts of food from your perfect, beautiful Addie is the greatest LOVE. As a Mama of two girls and now Grandma of 3 grandbaby girls, I see these moments, I’ve had these conversations, I’ve LOVED to my soul and back again… and I don’t have answers for what we as a society do to our babies, our girls and our boys, too. Your words, your soul, your LOVE needs to be shared because you, my friend, are teetering very closely to the answers… xox
    Sharon Couto recently posted…Bumps, Babies and Beauty Getting Gorgeous Holiday Guide 2013!!!!!! #GettingGorgeous #HolidayGuide #HolidayMy Profile

    • martinkadelux

      YOU are the answer. Thank you for all of your love and kindness. I only hope I am making a difference in myself and my one sweet lady… and maybe, just maybe, others will reap some benefit, too.

  3. Jenn

    Beautiful words. I needed to hear them right now, thanks for this post!

  4. This is such a beautiful post! It is an issue us women, especially mothers of daughters, waiver on all the time. We want to be slim and look good in our clothes, but also know the need to send positive messages out to our daughters. We want our daughters to love themselves as they are, but it is easier to want that for our children than to practice that for ourselves.
    elizabethatalay recently posted…UncommonGoods $75 Giveaway!My Profile

  5. Shell

    What a beautiful post, Chelley. So true, and so wise. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Love this post! Love the idea of our bodies as a map that tells our journeys. Mine tells the journey of 5 c-section deliveries and the stretch marks from a 9.5 pound baby boy. Then there’s the scar on my knee from a bicycle crash when I was 8. The stories are all there, in the flesh. We just have to take the time to tell them.
    Stephanie Kay recently posted…I am thankful for… Books.My Profile

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